Survivor  Tamora Pierce style
by stormrider7
Summary: A bunch of Tamora Pierce characters have been dumped on a deserted island, to compete for the grand prize.  Who will win?¿? Slightly random at some times, majorly random at others.  HYPERACTIVE!
1. Prologue

**Hello, peoplez! I am getting bored of writing proper, well-written stories so I just HAD to get this randomness out of my system. I don't appreciate flames, If u don't like my fanfic then why'd u read it? But there are SIGNIFICANT differences between flames and constructive criticism…and I'm open to any ideas. MAY contain a few minor spoilers for Tamora Pierce books u haven't yet read.**

(A judge and me are sitting alone at a table, looking extremely bored.)

Judge: I'm bored.

Me: (rolling eyes) I know, I just wrote that…

Judge: Wait, I've got a great idea!

Me: What is it?

Judge: Let's get a bunch of Tamora Pierce characters and dump them on a deserted island!

Me: Great idea! People from the Tortall books, or the Circle books?

Judge: Both!

Me: Well, it's better than sitting alone at a table with you looking extremely bored.

Judge: I'll write up a list of the doomed! cough I mean, the contestants!

Me: Fine with me. How many people will we torture? cough put in the contest?

Judge: (grinning in a slightly maniacally way) The more the merrier!

**Not very good yet, but it will probably get better once the competition has started. I decided to put in a list of the doomed cough competitors, so this chapter won't seem as much like a waste. Oh, and if I've gotten any titles wrong, please let me know.**

Survivor Competitors:

Lady Knight Alanna of Pirate's Swoop and Olau (Alanna)

Lord Raoul of Goldenlake (Raoul)

Veralidaine Sarrasri (Daine)

Numair Salmalin (Numair)

Alianne of Pirate's Swoop (Aly)

Queen Dovasary Balitang of the Copper Isles (Dove) (sorry to those who haven't read Trickster's Queen – plz don't kill me!)

Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan (Kel)

Sir Nealan of Queenscove (Neal)

King Jonathan of Conte (Jon)

Duke Roger of Conte (Roger) (who has miraculously come back to life again)

Lady Sandrilene fa Toren (Sandry)

Daja Kisubo (Daja)

Trisana Chandler (Tris)

Briar Moss (Briar)

Dedicate Lark (Lark)

Dedicate Rosethorn (Rosethorn)

Empress Berenene (Berenene) (and for those who haven't read The Will of the Empress, she's a greedy little BEEP)

**I'll try and update soon. Enjoy!**


	2. Day 1

**As a note adding on to my summary, I will be completely undermining most, if not all, of the characters. God I hope Tamora Pierce isn't reading this. Oh, and to all u reading this, I'm NOT an A/J fan! No BEEPing way! I h8 A/J! AAAAAARGH! Continue…**

**Day 1**

(The competitors -see prologue- have arrived on the island)

ALANNA: OK, we're here now, so what do we do?

JUDGE: You will be split into two teams.

NEAL: I wanna be on Kel's team, coz she's puuuuurty!

KEL: Um…

TRIS: Isn't it normally four teams?

JUDGE: Yes, but this isn't regular Survivor. Besides, it's easier to remember who's on which team.

JON: I s'pose…

JUDGE: OK, what you're gonna do now is reach into this sack. You will pull out a ribbon that is either red or blue –

ROGER: Why can't it be orange? I DEMAND an orange ribbon! Get me an orange ribbon NOW!

JUDGE: You will get the last pick for being ignorant. It's red or blue. LINE UP!

(Daine, the first in line, is about to reach into the sack when Harry Potter appears out of thin air.)

ALL: Harry Potter!

HARRY: Yes, Harry Potter!

ALL: Harry Potter!

HARRY: Yes, Harry Potter!

ALL: Harry Potter!

HARRY: Yes, Harry Potter!

(I appear)

ME: Yes, it's Harry Potter, get over it! (turns to Harry) What d'you want?

HARRY: Why, I wish to play Survivor!

ME: Hm…alright. LINE UP! (I disappear)

(Harry jumps and joins the line)

(All the contestants reach into the sack and pick out a ribbon. Yes, there just happens to be one for Harry)

JUDGE: OK, the teams are as follows:

Red Team:

Alanna

Numair

Aly

Kel

Roger

Sandry

Tris

Rosethorn

Harry

Blue Team:

Raoul

Daine

Dove

Neal

Jon

Daja

Briar

Lark

Berenene

ALL: (grumbles)

BRIAR: these teams suck!

JUDGE: (grins) I know. Your first task is to name your teams!

**Red Team:**

KEL: How about "Tortallan Knights"?

ROSETHORN: Not all of us are Knights! Or from Tortall!

ALANNA: Got any better ideas?

ROGER: How about "Red Roses"?

ALL: Um…

SANDRY: That's something Briar would say!

BRIAR: (to Sandry and Tris through mind-speak) _Hey, I heard that!_

TRIS: Good!

NUMAIR: Stop fighting! We need to make a team name!

HARRY: How about "Witchcraft and Wizardry"?

(I appear and turn to Harry)

ME: Have you no original ideas in your tiny brain?

(I disappear)

KEL: Not all of us have magic, you know!

ALY: Actually, you're the only one on this team with no magic…

KEL: No need to be so mean about it! (starts to cry)

ALY: (looks bewildered) What did I say?

JUDGE: OK, time's up, I'll need to know you're team name now.

ROGER: Team Fungus!

JUDGE: Um… If you say so… (disappears)

ALANNA: What the hell?

HARRY: I think it's a great name!

ROSETHORN: No one asked you, Pretty-Boy!

HARRY: Thank you!

ROSETHORN: That was an insult.

HARRY: Ur preeeeeeeeeeeeety!

ROSETHORN: (Turns away in disgust)

**Blue Team:**

DOVE: (loudly and pompously) We have a task to fulfill! We must name our gracious team!

JON: Hey, who put you in charge?

DOVE: Well, I AM the queen of the Copper Isles.

JON: Well, I'm the king of Tortall!

BERENENE: Well, I'm the empress of the whole Namorn Empire!

DAJA & BRIAR: Well, we're two of the most powerful mages north of the Pebbled Sea!

LARK: Me too!

DAINE: Will you cut it out! We need to make a team name!

RAOUL: How about "Ladies and Lords"?

NEAL: Don't you think that sounds a little… well, show-offy?

BRIAR: Yeah, and I'm not even a lord! I'm a mage, and I used to be a street rat!

DAJA: And I'm a Trader!

LARK: And I'm a dedicate!

BERENENE: And I will not be referred to as a mere Lady! Empress Berenene is my title!

RAOUL: (discouraged) Got any better ideas?

DOVE: the "Bumble Bees of Hell"!

ALL: Um…

LARK: Isn't that a tad extreme?

JUDGE: Time's up! I'll need to know your team name!

DOVE: The Bumble Bees o- (Neal claps his hand over her mouth)

JUDGE: The Bumble Bees? Alright… (mutters to self) Geez, these people are crap at making up names! (disappears)

Later that day, at around lunchtime: 

(everyone is gathered around a campfire)

JUDGE: We have our teams! Red Team is now known as Team Fungus, and Blue Team is now The Bumble Bees!

JON: (jumps up and starts screaming and jumping around) YOY! Go The Bumble Bees! YOY!

JUDGE: Shut up and sit down! After you have eaten, you will meet me down by the beach. Now hurry up and eat so we can torture you some more! (disappears)

ALL: (Eats quickly and walks down to beach where Judge is waiting)

SANDRY: What now?

JUDGE: You must make fire and keep it burning for a full two minutes!

NEAL: What? That's easy!

JUDGE: (holds up hand) Ah, but you may use only the materials you have on you now! The winners will win a free bottle of wine, and the losers will see me at tribal council tonight!

ALL: (outraged) What? That's impossible!

JUDGE: Good luck! Survivors ready…GO!

(the two teams hustle up and try to devise a plan)

**The Bumble Bees:**

LARK: I have lots of material but I don't think –

BERENENE: (Snatches Lark's materials from her hands and chucks it on the ground.) Someone light it!"

DAJA: (throws some fire at the pile of materials. It lights up)

JON: WE"VE GOT IT! WE"VE GOT IT! WE"VE GOT IT!

JUDGE: (Comes over to look and the fire goes out, as all the material has been burnt up in the first ten seconds) Pathetic!

JON: (screams like a frustrated teenage girl)

JUDGE: (disappears to look at the other team's progress)

**Team Fungus:**

ALY: What will we burn?

JUDGE: (appears) Well, hurry up!

KEL: (Snatches Harry's wand and throws it on the ground) Set it on fire!

TRIS: (throws lightning at it and it starts to burn)

HARRY: HEY! I object!

ROSETHORN: Too late now, Pretty-Boy!

JUDGE: OK, now lets see if it will stay lit…(waits two minutes and it has still not gone out) Good job! (yells to the other team) TEAM FUNGUS HAS WON!

JON: (Screams again)

DAINE: I know who I'm voting out…

Later that day 

**The Bumble Bees:**

BERENENE: I can't believe we lost! Its all YOUR fault! (points to Lark)

JON: I know! I KNOW! We LOST! WE lost! It sucks! I can't believe we lost! This really stinks! The team of Jon the Great! The team of Jon the Humble! The team of –

DAJA: The team of Jon the Dead if you don't shut up!

JON: I do not care! I will not be ordered around by one of my subjects! I will not! I shall not! Step away from my person, or I shall feed you to the dragons! Away with you! NOW!

DAJA: I know who I'm voting out…

BRIAR: Me too!

**Team Fungus:**

(Team Fungus are celebrating with a bottle of wine. The only people NOT trying to get wasted are Harry and Aly)

ALANNA: Come 'ave somma dis! Ain't it great?

ALY: I'm not gonna get drunk Mum. It's not good for me.

DAJA, TRIS & ROSETHORN: Ain't good for us neither but it aint stopping us!

HARRY: YOU BURNT MY WAND! (starts crying) AHHHH! I can't believe it!

ALY: Calm down, it's just a stick with a feather in it!

HARRY: (turns red) Yes, but it was MY stick with a feather in it! MINE!

ALY: OK…

Later, at Tribal Council:

JUDGE: OK, you will place your votes as o who you want to leave in this box here (holds up box) and the person with the most votes will be out of the competition. Time to vote!

(the competitors write on slips of paper with a really weird pen and put the papers into the box)

JUDGE: I will now count the votes!

(The Box Ghost randomly appears)

BOX GHOST: Hey, where am I? (looks around and sees the box full of votes) I AM THE BOX GHOST! Once I empty you of your useless papers, your marvelous squareness will be mine! (Swoops down to grab box but Danny Phantom materializes in front of him and sucks him into the FentonThermos)

DANNY: Sorry, I'll…just be leaving…now… (disappears)

JUDGE: OK…(Pulls out votes and starts reading them out)

JUDGE: The first person voted out of Survivor is…King Jonathan of Conte!

JON: (starts screaming and crying like a little brat until guards drag him off)

JUDGE: And that's it for Day 1 of Survivor Tamora Pierce style!

**How'd ya like it? Plz R&R! Comments, ideas, everything BUT flames are welcome…**


	3. Day 2

**Thanx for the reviews! I'm having the most fun writing this fanfic so I'm updating it faster too, lol. Onto the story…**

**Previously on Survivor Tamora Pierce style: **The contestants were split into two teams: The Bumble Bees and Team Fungus. King Jonathan of Conte was also voted off The Bumble Bees.

Day 2

**Team Fungus**

(Team Fungus is happily sitting around their campfire eating out of a picnic basket they happened to find lying on the ground)

(The Judge appears)

JUDGE: Your task for today is – Hey, what's that? (He points to the basket)

SANDRY (Hides basket behind her back): What's what?

HARRY: He's talking about the picnic basket. Well, we found it on the beach and it is stuffed full of chocolate bars!

ROSETHORN (hits Harry really hard across the head): YOU IDIOT!

HARRY (dazed): Your puuuuuurty when you're unbelievably angry…

JUDGE: I'll take that, thank you very much! (Snatches the basket from Sandry)

TRIS: NOOOOOOOO! The chocolate is gone!

NUMAIR: Technically, chocolate doesn't exist yet!

JUDGE: To you maybe, but we're in MY time zone now! Now shut up Mr Know-It-All!

NUMAIR (meekly): Yessir.

JUDGE: Your task for today is to make a Mystery Person kiss a spider!

ALY: That's all? Seems kinda stupid.

JUDGE: (shrugs and disappears)

KEL: That was wired…

**The Bumble Bees:**

(The Bumble Bees are also sitting around a campfire, but they are eating wild berries they found in the forest)

(Judge appears)

JUDGE: Your task today is to get the Mystery person to kiss a spider. I will come back later with the person in question.

DOVE: Kiss a spider? (she shudders)

JUDGE: (Shrugs) Oh well.

NEAL: Hey, these berries are pretty nice! And they're a really pretty colour! I don't know why you guys wont eat them!

JUDGE: (Raises his eyebrows) Those are poisonous.

(Neal suddenly drops dead)

(I appear)

ME: Hey, none of the characters are allowed to die! (I smirk) yet…

(I hold out my hand and a burst of my magic goes onto Neal and brings him back to life)

NEAL: Hey, I'm alive! I'm ALIVE! Thanx!

ME: No prob. Now, just eat what everyone else is eating, idiot.

(I disappear and so does the judge)

RAOUL: (who was just sitting and watching the whole thing) OK…

**Team Fungus:**

(Judge appears with the Mystery person and it happens to be a redheaded friend we all know…)

HARRY: RON! (runs up and gives Ron a big hug)

RON: (Trying to breath) Would… you mind… getting…off me?

HARRY: Sorry!

JUDGE: OK, here is the Mystery Person, and here is your spider. (gives a massive spider the size of your hand to Roger, who screams like a girl and shoves it at Alanna)

RON: (squeaks) Spider?

ALANNA: (Holds out spider to Ron, who instantly steps back) C'mon, it's just a spider. You've gotta kiss it.

RON: KISS IT? Are you INSANE?

ALANNA: C'mon, kiss it!

RON: No way!

ALANNA: KISS THE SPIDER OR I'LL SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT!

RON: (kisses the spider and instantly faints of a heart attack)

JUDGE: Well done! Now I have to drag him off to kiss another spider!

**The Bumble Bees:**

JUDGE: (appears with Ron) OK, you're turn, Bumble Bees! (Gives another spider the same as the first one to Daine)

DAINE: Aww, isn't it CUTE! Oh yes you are, oh yes you are! (starts stroking the spider)

JUDGE: Um… u've gotta make Ron kiss it…

DAINE: (sighs) Fine. Ron, kiss it!

RON: Nu-uh, no WAY am I kissing another spider!

DAINE: Aww, come on! Please? For the spider?

RON: The spider didn't to anything for me! I'm NOT kissing it!

(Captain Holly Short appears)

HOLLY: I'll help you! I'll just put him under my _mesmer_ –

JUDGE: NO! It's only for contestants!

HOLLY: Aw, no fair! (stomps away looking rejected)

BERENENE: (grabs spider off Daine and puts in next to Ron, and whispers in his ear)

BERENENE: I'll give you a million dollars if you kiss it!

RON: Well…

BERENENE (sighs): OK, a million dollars and five cents!

RON: YOY! (kisses spider, grabs money and disappears)

BRIAR: Well, both teams have made him kiss the spider, so who loses?

JUDGE: I dunno. That wasn't the real challenge – Ron was just annoying me.

DAJA: That wasn't nice!

JUDGE: Hey, who said I was nice?

(Campfire Kid from Drake and Josh appears)

CAMPFIRE KID: Hey, that's my line!

(Campfire Kid disappears)

LARK: Um…

JUDGE: Yes. Now, I want you all to meet me on the beach in approximately 2 minutes. Cyaz! (He disappears)

**Team Fungus:**

(Judge appears)

JUDGE: That wasn't a real challenge. Meet me on the beach now to do your real challenge!

(Judge disappears)

**On the beach:**

(both teams are gathered and the judge appears)

JUDGE: Ready for your challenge?

EVERYONE: Yes!

JUDGE: Are you sure?

EVERYONE: Yes!

JUDGE: Are you absolutely sure?

EVERYONE: Yes!

JUDGE: Are you certain you're absolutely sure?

EVERYONE: Yes!

JUDGE: Are you positive you're certain you're absolutely sure?

EVERYONE: YES!

JUDGE: OK. You will play a game of Quidditch! The team that wins the game, wins immunity!

EVERYONE BUT HARRY: Quidditch?

HARRY: YOY! I'll get my Firebolt!

(Harry's Firebolt appears in his hand)

HARRY: COOLIES!

(Six rings appear, three on opposite sides of the beach. Four balls zoom into the air)

JUDGE: Survivors ready, GO!

(Because no one else has broomsticks, Harry is the only one playing. He catches the golden snitch within two seconds)

JUDGE: And the winner is…THE BUMBLE BEES!

HARRY: HUH? But I'm on Team Fungus! I just won!

JUDGE: Did I forget to mention it's Opposite Day? I said whoever wins the game, wins immunity. On Opposite Day, it means whoever wins the game, DOESN'T win immunity! Tough luck! I'll see you at Tribal Council in…about 5 minutes.

**5 Minutes Later**

JUDGE: OK, everyone place your hate votes in the box! And don't worry, I checked with Clockwork and he said nothing strange will happen in today's Tribal Council. But mainly coz Steph isn't stuffed writing much more. (glares angrily at me)

ME: (grins evilly) If I could, I'd stick my tongue out at you. But I can't. So I'll laugh evilly instead. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(I disappear)

(Everyone places in their votes and Judge counts them)

JUDGE: And the second person voted off Survivor is… Lady Sandrilene fa Toren! Why'd you vote her off?

KEL: I dunno. She woz just doing nothing, basically.

ROGER: Ditto.

ROSETHORN: But what about Aly? She wasn't doing anything either!

NUMAIR: (shrugs) We already voted off a Tortallan person. Oh well! Cya, Sandry!

**Not a very good chapter, my next one will be better. I've just got a headache and I wanted to get this down. Cyaz! Everyone who reviews gets a CUPCAKE!**


	4. Day 3

**Dearest fans… I have a confession to make. I lied (collective gasp around the room). I have no cupcakes. I'm – hey, stop throwing tomatoes at me! Argh! Oh, and I got a review saying to do something like Jeopardy or whatever they said, but I have no idea what Jeopardy is. They said like a quiz… but I was gonna do a quiz anyways… Onto the story…**

**Previously on Survivor: **Lady Sandrilene fa Toren wasvoted off the island. And I lied about the cupcakes.

**Day 3:**

**Team Fungus:**

(Team Fungus are once again eating from a picnic basket. Judge appears)

JUDGE: OK, today on – HEY! I thought I took that off you!

HARRY: No, you took the chocolate from us. This basket is filled with roast lamb and potatoes! It sure is delicious!

(I appear)

ME: (snatches basket away before the Judge got to) That poor lambie! I'm confiscating it!

JUDGE: HEY! I was gonna take it and eat it back at the hotel –

ME: NO! How can you eat a poor little baby animal? That's SO mean!

(I disappear)

JUDGE: Stupid Steph… she is SUCH a fun-sucker…

ME: (my voice booms from the air around him) I HEARD THAT!

JUDGE: Good… OK, Survivors! Are you ready for your first challenge?

KEL: Well, not really…

JUDGE: TOO BAD! Your task for today IS to go into the forest and find the Cursed Amulet or Aragon! The Team who finds it first wins… this nickel!

ROSETHORN: WHAT? No way! That's a suckish prize!

COSMO (poofs in): My nickel! Get your hands off Philip! (grabs nickel and poofs away)

JUDGE: (sighs): alright, you will get… um… you will get a Christmas stocking stuffed full of chocolates!

HARRY: YAY CHOCOLATES!

**The Bumble Bees:**

(They are now eating a bunch of bananas instead of poisonous berries)

JUDGE: Nice to see you're still alive, Neal!

NEAL: I can say the same thing!

JUDGE: Your first task for today is to go into the forest and find the Cursed Amulet of Aragon! Team Fungus already has a head start because Steph, once again, isn't stuffed writing another beach scene where you all run off at the same time… ANYWHO, you can go now!

ALL: (Run off into the forest)

JUDGE: (stares at bananas, shrugs, and eats one)

**Team Fungus and The Bumble Bees:**

(the two teams have been running around the forest, looking for the Amulet, for a zillion years, but thanks to Clockwork, it is still only day 3!)

DAJA: Hey guyz! I THINK I CAN SEE SOMETHING!

NUMAIR: Of course. We can all see something!

DAJA: No, I mean I think I can see the Amulet! Lets ask that girl that is wearing it over there!

(the group walk over to Princess Dorathea and she smiles at them)

DORATHEA: Hello there, strangers. What can I do for you?

DOVE: Hi. We need your necklace. You see, it's for our competition…

DORATHEA: I'm afraid I cannot let you have my Amulet!

DAINE: But we really, REALLY need it –

ALY: Yeah. We only need it for a little while!

DORATHEA: I'm afraid I'm going to have to insist. You cannot have my Amulet.

BRAIR: Oh please! We really really need it!

DORATHEA: I said NO!

TRIS: But…

DORATHEA: (Amulet comes into effect and turns her into Dragon Ghost)

DRAGON: I SAID NO!

(Once again, Danny Phantom randomly appears)

DANNY: (Looks around, holding a silver thermos with the word "Fenton" on it and sees the dragon) Oh man, not again!

DRAGON: YOU NO HAVE AMULET!

DANNY: C'mon, take the Amulet off and maybe I won't have to hurt you – (ducks Dragon's swinging, spike-covered tail) – don't say I didn't warn you!

(Danny and the Dragon Ghost have a massive fight with a lot of punches, kicks and ectoplasmic rays shooting everywhere)

(Danny grabs the Amulet and pulls it off Dorathea's neck. It falls to the ground, where Lark catches it, as Dorathea turns back into a regular ghost-girl.)

DANNY: Sorry, we'll be leaving now. (he and Dorathea disappear)

(The Bumble Bees are staring at Lark, and they're jumping up and screaming like teenagers at a rock concert.)

BERENENE: We won! We won! We won!

JUDGE: (appears) Well done, Bumble Bees! You have won the competition!

RAOUL: Where's our chocolate?

JUDGE: (grins evilly) I was just tricking – there is no chocolate! I ate it all whilst I was waiting! Actually, not really. I've only eaten most of it. I'm gonna eat the rest now. Well, have fun getting back!

ALL: (get up to hurt Judge but he disappears)

(after about five seconds of walking they are back at camp)

ALY: Hey, how come it took a zillion years to get to that girl with the Amulet but only five seconds to get back home?

JUDGE: (appears with chocolate smudged all around his mouth) Haven't you people realized yet that this is a fanfic? A random one? Of course it's not gonna be realistic! Well, not much anyways. I have come to tell you that your next task will take place on the beach in a few minutes… so… go down there in a few minutes. Also, I have eaten all of your chocolate.

BRIAR: (groans): Another task? In a few minutes?

JUDGE: Yes. And I have eaten all of your chocolate.

HARRY: NOOOOOOOOO!

JUDGE: Yes! HAHAHAHA! See you all in a few minutes! (disappears)

HARRY: The poor chocolate! It did not deserve to be eaten by him!

NUMAIR: Chocolate is an inanimate object. Inanimate objects do not deserve, or not deserve, anything.

HARRY: Oh, stop being a nerd. We are needed at the beach. (they all walk down to the beach where Judge is.)

JUDGE: This will be more of a physical test this time.

DOVE: Oh, and that last task was like eating pudding, was it?

TRIS: Yay pudding!

JUDGE: Quiet down, woman! We have no pudding! And yes, seeing as you didn't actually DO anything. Danny was the one doing the fighting. Now, I will explain the task. First, you will separate into your teams and go into two lines. Then, you will swim through this large pool of mud.

(a massive hole in the ground suddenly appears, about 25 meters long and really, really deep. It fills with mud)

JUDGE: After that, you will go through the obstacle course.

(the obstacle course appears further on after the mud-pool. It is just a bunch of tires and two large hoola-hoops.)

JUDGE: And finally, when you have finished all that, you must pass my quiz. OK with that? Good. In your lines (he waited for everyone to get into double lines) Survivors ready… GO!

The two teams started off. They reached the mud pool and they hesitated.

BERENENE: No WAY am I setting foot in there!

ROGER: Ew! (screams like a child) That is SO totally gross! Yuck!

TRIS: There could be WORMS and other icky bugs in there!

(Berenene, Roger, Tris, Numair, Rosethorn, Daine and Lark all waited by the edge of the pool, cheering their friends on. Alanna, Aly, Kel, Harry, Raoul, Dove, Neal, Daja and Briar all jumped in and swam like crazy to the other side)

BRIAR: (climbing out with mud dripping off him) YES! I made it!

JUDGE: Good, now move on to the obstacle course!

(the others who actually went in the mud-pool all climbed out and stood with Briar. They all started jumping through the tires until they got to the hoola-hoops. Only Kel, Raoul and Dove managed to climb through the hoops)

ALY: (tries sticking her arm through the hoop but she gets zapped) What up with these hoola hoops? They're not letting some of us through!

JUDGE: (shrugs) I borrowed those hoola-hoops from the Fentons. I guess their ghost-hunting equipment also works on mages!

HARRY: But what about me? I can only do magic with my wand, which SOME PEOPLE burnt!

JUDGE: You can Apparate without your wand, can't you?

HARRY: I guess…

JUDGE: Then don't argue with me! Now, onto… the quiz! (dramatic music plays)

(Judge, Kel, Raoul and Dove are suddenly transported to a nice, enclosed room with a stand for the judge)

JUDGE: Ready?

RAOUL: I guess…

JUDGE: OK. The person with the least amount of points gets voted off the island. Question 1, what is my middle name?

RAOUL: Your middle name is the name between your first name and surname.

JUDGE: What? NO! What is MY middle name?

RAOUL: It is the same for you as for any other. It is the name between your first name and surname.

JUDGE: (sighs) Alright, one to Raoul. Question 2. Work out this sum. 3p(2f+8)-4f(2p-5) equals...

DOVE: (a split second after he asks the question) 6fp+16+20f.

JUDGE: Wow! How'd you get it that quick? (A/N I worked that out myself, so if it's wrong, please tell me. Although I probably wont be stuffed changing it. And you probably wont be stuffed checking it.)

JUDGE: OK. One point Raoul, one point Dove. Question 3, What grade piano is Steph doing?

RAOUL: What? How are we meant to know that?

KEL: She is doing grade six piano!

JUDGE: Correct! One point Raoul, one point Dove, one point Kel. Question 4, what am I wearing?

KEL: CLOTHES!

JUDGE: Well… you're right, I guess. One point Raoul, one point Dove, two points Kel. Question 5, if a steam-train was travelling at sixty kilometres an hour, how much oil would it need?

RAOUL: That question doesn't make sense! You can't figure it out!

DOVE: Yes you can. Stop being so dumb. The train doesn't use any oil, because it's a steam train! Duh! (she sticks her tongue out at Raoul)

(I appear)

ME: Dove, I respect the fact that you're trying to make a stupid grown man feel small, but you should take being able to stick your tongue out for advantage. But, feel free to continue with the teasing!

(I disappear)

JUDGE: OK… One point Raoul, two points Dove, two points Kel. Question 6, what day is it?

RAOUL: Saturday! No, wait –

JUDGE: Sorry, but I'm afraid that is incorrect! It is Sunday, and I would also have taken Mother's Day as an answer! So, zero points Raoul, two points Dove, two points Kel. Question 7, who is better-looking, me or Steph?

RAOUL: Oh, DEFINITELY Steph!

JUDGE: (scowls) Incorrect again! You see, I'm the one with the power, so you should be sucking up to me! Now it is negative one points Raoul, two points Dove, two points Kel. Well, no point finishing off, Raoul has already lost! I'm disgusted!

(Judge walks off in a huff and Kel and Dove reappear at the beach)

KEL: Hey, where is Raoul?

DOVE: Who cares?

KEL: (laughs) Right! Oh yeah, he had to leave the island. YAY, no more boring old Raoul!

DOVE: Lets celebrate, NO MORE RAOUL!

(everyone celebrates until… they stop celebrating)

**Ack, I'm so bad at ending these chapters! Not fair! Review, please!**


	5. Day 4 Part I

**Guyz… u dunno HOW guilty I feel about not updating… but I SERIOUSLY had to catch up on homework and projects and test revision (I DO have a life, you know) and SOME PEOPLE wont stop talking to me cough Kirstyn cough Jacqui cough but I'm back now… with another four more fanfics to update after this… wont the next couple of days be fun…**

**Previously on Survivor: **Lord Raoul of Goldenlake was voted off the island.

**Day 4:**

**Team Fungus:**

(Team Fungus are happily sitting around their campfire, chatting about God-knows-what, when Judge appears and glares at them all)

JUDGE: Alright, where's today's basket?

KEL: What basket?

JUDGE: You know perfectly well what I mean.

ALANNA: No we don't!

JUDGE: You had a basket of food on day two, then you had a basket of food yesterday (grumbles about vegetarian fun-suckers), so I assumed you'd have a basket today…

ROSETHORN: Assuming makes an ass out of you and me! Get it? Ass-u-me? Put it all together and you get assume! Isn't that so funny?

JUDGE: (rolls eyes) Hilarious. Well, if you haven't got any basket of delicious delicacies, I will be leaving now… (turns to go)

TRIS: WAIT! What about today's challenge?

JUDGE: Oh, right. Today's challenge is… a TALENT COMPETITION!

NUMAIR: A WHAT?

JUDGE: A TALENT COMPETITION!

NUMAIR: A WHAT?

JUDGE: A TALENT COMPETITION!

NUMAIR: A WHAT?

JUDGE: Quit it! That's annoying.

ROGER: So, what do we need?

JUDGE: Talent, hence the name "Talent Competition"…

ROGER: Yeah, but what does it consist of?

JUDGE: Showing off your talent.

ROGER: I GET IT, but what do we have to do?

JUDGE: Perform a talent of yours.

ROGER: This is hopeless…

JUDGE: You will be performing something. Anything you like, as long as it has no major swearing or doesn't involve the death of any characters. Severe pain is fine. And on that happy note, I leave you. Just be down at the beach in a few. (disappears)

ROSETHORN: (Creeps around a nearby tree and pulls Harry out from behind it – he had been bound and gagged) Now, if I have to do this every time we find a basket of food, I will become VERY fustrated… (A/N yes, I know it's spelt "frustrated" I just don't like that first 'r')

(Rosethorn unties Harry and removes his gag)

HARRY: You didn't have to tie me up!

ROSETHORN: Yes we did. Today's basket is ice cream, and we can't have you blabbering on to the judge so he can take it off us. (Pulls out basket and Team Fungus start eating out of it)

**The Bumble Bees:**

(Judge appears)

JUDGE: Hello, Bumble Bees. Your task for today is a – HEY, WHERE'D THAT BASKET COME FROM?

(Neal is holding a basket and eating something out of it)

NEAL: IT'S CHEESE! Hold on a minute… (holds stomach) this cheese tastes gross! It's like eating a whole spoonful of vegemite!

(Neal drops dead, and I appear)

ME: Neal, STOP DYING! (I pick up a piece of cheese that Neal dropped) Oh no, Vlad Masters has been spiking cheese _again…_

(I bring Neal back to life)

ME: Geez, do I need to put a muzzle on you or something? Stop eating poisonous food! Wait and see what everyone else is eating before you have any!

(I disappear)

JUDGE: As I was saying, there will be a talent competition today. We will meet down at the beach, where there will be a huge stage set up, for anything you might need to do. The two people with the lowest score will be voted off the island. Anything involving character deaths or severe swearing will be disqualified. Well, see you in a bit!

**The beach, a few minutes later:**

JUDGE: As you can see, there is a massive stage here. There is also a place for the judges of this competition – I am not judging it. They are surprise guests on Survivor!

LARK: Ooh, who are they?

JUDGE: Ever read the definition of 'surprise'?

LARK: Fine then, be mean! (starts sulking)

JUDGE: Now, line up alongside this stage whilst we wait for out judges.

(One at a time, the judges appear on the stage and introduce themselves)

GEORGE: 'Ello, peoples! I'm George Cooper! I am – OMG, ALANNA! (Jumps off stage and starts making out with Alanna) (A/N NOW do you believe I'm an A/G fan?)

ALY: Eww, gross! Cut it out, Da!

(George takes a seat at the judges' table)

NIKO: Fellow human beings, I am here to grace you all with my presence –

BERENENE: Get on with it!

NIKO: I am Niklaren Goldeye, and I will be the second judge!

(Niko takes a seat next to George)

HERMIONE: (A/N yes, I HAD to put her in somewhere, and now seemed like the ideal place) I'm Hermione Granger, and I am also a judge. (takes seat next to Niko)

VLAD: I am Vladimir Masters, and I am the TOTALLY COOL EVIL HALFA IN DANNY PHANTOM! Once I have finished with judging this Talent Competition, I will continue on with my oh so evil plot to get young Daniel to join my ranks! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! cough cough

(Vlad takes a seat next to Hermione)

SQIDWARD: (A/N yup, I had to have someone totally random and unrelated as a judge .) Hello. I am Squidward Tentacles, and the only reason I am here is so I can escape those stupid BARNACLE HEADS (meaning Spongebob and Patrick) for a while! You wouldn't believe how terrifyingly annoying they are… (takes seat next to Vlad)

JUDGE: OK, now each judge will give you a score out of ten. And as I told you before, the two with the lowest scores are off the island. First up is… DAJA!

DAJA: (walks onto the stage looking really excited and happy)

JUDGE: First up is Daja, and she will be juggling torches.

DAJA: YEE! I'm so excited!

(Suddenly, around four or five flaming torches appear in her hands and she starts to juggle)

DAJA: (Humming the circus theme song) Do do doodoodoodoo do do do dooo, do do doodoodoodoo do do do dooo…

(Suddenly, she throws a torch too high and it lands on Neal, setting him on fire. Yes, I am being so mean to poor Nealy-poo…)

NEAL: (running around screaming his head off until Tris puts out the fire with her ULTRA COOL rain magic!) Ouch…

HERMIONE: Hey, shouldn't she be disqualified for that!

JUDGE: No. I said, only character deaths are deserving of disqualification. I said severe pain is fine, and Neal is still alive!

HERMIONE: I guess…

JUDGE: Alright. Now, we will await the judges' scores…

GEORGE: 9! That was really quite interesting, except for dropping your torch on the ground at the end…

NEAL: She didn't drop it on the ground! She dropped it on ME!

GEORGE: Meh, same diff.

NIKO: I'm afraid I will only give you a 3. Of course, your juggling skills are extraordinary, but I am strongly against violence.

HERMIONE: WOW that was SO COOL! Except for the part with Neal getting hurt… but that was funny, and I don't like Neal much… so, I'll give you a 6!

VLAD: (Smirks evilly) I think I will like this… that was very… um… interesting. 8!

SQUIDWARD: I honestly don't care for stupid circus acts like this! 5.

JUDGE: All up, the finishing score is 31! Give it up for the Dajmeister!

(everyone whoops and claps and cheers)

JUDGE: Next up, we have Berenene, singing "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion.

BERENENE: (Walks onstage, and the dried ice smoke-stuff covers the floor. Flute plays little solo and she starts to sing.

Every night in my dreams I see you, I feel you 

_That is how I know you, go on_

_Far across the distance, and spaces between us_

_You have come to show you, go on_

_Near, far, wherever you are_

_I believe that the heart does go on_

_Once more you open the door_

_And you're here in my heart_

_And my heart will go on and on_

(She was singing it very, very beautifully when she suddenly decided halfway though the song that she would skip the second verse and go straight to the key change, which she sings loudly, obnoxiously and completely, uttlerly HORRIBLY!)

_You're here, there's NOTHING I FEAR!_

_And I know that the heart will go on_

_We'll stay FOREVER THIS WAY!_

_You are safe in my heart_

_And my heart will go on and ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon_

_Ooooh!_

BERENENE: (grinning widely at them all) Well, wasn't it just soooooooo wonderful?

BRIAR: 'Horrible' would be closer to the mark…

BERENENE: Shut it, street rat!

GEORGE: Well… um… that was… different… cough 2 cough

NIKO: (staring at Berenene in a slightly eerie, lovestruck way) That was BEAUTIFUL! Oh, definitely a 10!

BERENENE: (kind of creeped out by someone of… Niko's years… crushing on her)

HERMIONE: Erm… well, I've never really heard a Namornese person sing before, so I guess I can't compare you to anyone. 6.

VLAD: I take back what I said… that was TORTURE! 1!

SQUIDWARD: I'm with Vlad, but the start was nice. 4.

JUDGE: So there you have it. Berenene's final score is… 23!

BERENENE: Aww… (stomps off stage)

JUDGE: (immensely relieved that Berenene is offstage) Right… OK, next up is… ROGER!

ROGER: (Bounces onstage like an overly-excited fangirl) I will be reciting a poem by Dorothea McKellar:

_The love of field and coppice,  
Of green and shaded lanes,  
Of ordered woods and gardens  
Is running in your veins.  
Strong love of grey-blue distance,  
Brown streams and soft, dim skies -  
I know but cannot share it,  
My love is otherwise. _

_I love a sunburnt country,  
A land of sweeping plains,  
Of ragged mountain ranges,  
Of droughts and flooding rains.  
I love her far horizons,  
I love her jewel-sea,  
Her beauty and her terror –  
The wide brown land for me! _

_The stark white ring-barked forests,  
All tragic to the moon,  
The sapphire-misted mountains,  
The hot gold hush of noon,  
Green tangle of the brushes  
Where lithe lianas coil,  
And orchids deck the tree-tops,  
And ferns the warm dark soil. _

_Core of my heart, my country!  
Her pitiless blue sky,  
When, sick at heart, around us  
We see the cattle die –  
But then the grey clouds gather,  
And we can bless again  
The drumming of an army,  
The steady soaking rain. _

_Core of my heart, my country!  
Land of the rainbow gold,  
For flood and fire and famine  
She pays us back threefold.  
Over the thirsty paddocks,  
Watch, after many days,  
The filmy veil of greenness  
That thickens as we gaze. _

_An opal-hearted country,  
A wilful, lavish land –  
All you who have not loved her,  
You will not understand –  
Though earth holds many splendours,  
Wherever I may die,  
I know to what brown country  
My homing thoughts will fly. _

ALL: (Kind of surprised that a guy as evil and power-hungry as Roger would recite a poem, much less a poem about loving the land…)

ROGER: Well? Wasn't it BEAUTIFUL? I always cry when I read that! (starts to bawl)

GEORGE: Right… um… well, that was a lovely poem, and I DO think that you recited it quite well, even though it is not quite fitting to your character. 8!

NIKO: That was a beautiful poem! My whole-hearted regards to the author! 9!

HERMIONE: Wow, that was so nice! But… you aren't from Australia… and you have never been there, either… but, that is insignificant. 7!

VLAD: That was BORING! Maybe you could jazz it up by adding something about TAKING OVER THE WORLD… MUAHAHAHAHAHA! cough cough Um… 5.

SQUIDWARD: Well, it was alright. I also give you a 5.

JUDGE: And the final score is… 34! Let's have a round of applause for the Conté Duke!

ROGER: 34? Really? Oh, I'm so happy I could cry! (Starts to cry again)

JUDGE: Riiiiight… well, next up we have Alanna!

ALANNA: (runs onstage, blowing kisses at George) OK. I will be performing a diabolo routine to "Let Me Entertain You" (A/N This performance is dedicated to my friends, Amy and Maddie. They did this (but they danced as well) for our school "Search for a Star" competition, and won. Claps for Amy and Maddie!)

(Really cool flame-patterned diabolos appear in her hands and the music starts)

(Alanna starts doing all these really cool tricks like jumping it over her leg and throwing it up really high and catching it (A/N if you have ever seen diabolos in action before, they're really cool. I myself use diabolos and can do both of these tricks PLUS MORE! LoL).)

(When the song gets to the final chorus, Alanna accidentally throws the diabolo a bit too high. She doesn't catch it and it hits the floor of the stage. It rebounds, spinning wildly, then comes back down and hits someone in the head. Let's see who it is…)

NEAL: (Lying on the ground, clutching his forehead) Oh with the pain in my forehead!

ROSETHORN: Shut it, Queenscove.

GEORGE: 10! 10! 10!

NIKO: Well, that showed quite exceptional skills with a diabolo. But, as I stated before, I do not like people in pain. I will take marks off for that. 6.

HERMIONE: Wow, that was great! AND I LOVE THAT SONG! 8!

VLAD: (yawns) When will this be over? Oh fine, I'll give you a score. Well, I congratulate you on a tool that can be used for pain and destruction, but I completely and utterly hate that song. Well, that's not your fault. I think. 6.

SQUIDWARD: I came here to escape stupid stunts like this! The next performance might well be bubble-blowing and jellyfishing! (Sees Spongebob and Patrick waiting offstage holding a net and a jar of bubble mixture) I was being SARCASTIC! (Spongebob and Patrick leave in dejection) Ugh. 4.

JUDGE: Well, there you have it. The final score is… also 34! Lets give a hand to… The Lioness!

ALANNA: (Skips offstage happily. Snatches her diabolo off Neal) I'LL take that, thankyou very much!

**OK, I think 12 pages on Microsoft Word in size twelve font is pretty good, so I will do Day 4 in a few chapters. That was so fun, writing the talent comp! If you have ideas for any other contestants, I MIGHT use them. 14 reviews for one chapter! That is a new record! Come, sing with me! CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES, COME ON! Please don't be angry if I take a while updating, I have just been really lazy lately and I need to update all my fanfics… oh and for those who are reading Door to Tortall (my least favourite fanfic) that will be on hold until I finish one or more of my current fanfics. Thanx! And always remember to… BUST LARGE!**


	6. Day 4 Part II

**I'm baaaaaaaack! Again! With part two! I'm sorry, but this chapter might get a little bit boring, feel free to skip any bad parts**

**Previously on Survivor: **A talent competition has taken place. So far the scores are: Daja – 31, Berenene – 23, Roger – 34 and Alanna – 34.

**Day 4 cont.:**

JUDGE: Alrighty then. Next up we have… LARK!

LARK: (Jumps onstage) I will be performing a gymnastics routine!

(Walks to one side of stage and cartwheels all the way across. She comes back by doing a heap of walkovers. She does round-offs to the middle of the stage and finishes with a full, twisting layout)

GEROGE: Wow… that was… short… but it does show good balance and pose, I suppose… 7

NIKO: That WAS short… but it showed athletic ability. 5.

HERMIONE: That was cool! I wish I could be that good at gymnastics… 8

VLAD: Meh, that was alright, I guess… 5.

SQUIDWARD: No comment. 6.

JUDGE: Well, there we have it. The final score is… 31! Let's give it up for the most powerful stitch witch on this side of the island (Keeping in mind that Sandry was voted off…)!

(Polite applause as Lark cartwheels offstage and crashes into Neal)

NEAL: WHAT DOES EVERYONE HAVE AGAINST ME?

JUDGE: Alright. Now, we have… ALY!

ALY: YEE! I'm so excited to be here! Now, I will be performing knife throwing. If Neal would be so kind as to –

NEAL: NO!

ALY: Fine then, be mean! Alright. Who will volunteer to be my assistant?

(Danny Phantom appears)

DANNY: I will, if no one else wants to. After all, if it's a bad shot, I can always go intangible…

ALY: Thanks!

NEAL: (is hiding behind everyone else, trembling in extreme fear)

ALY: (knives appear in her hands, and she places Danny against the wall) I will now border him with my knives! (throws knives at Danny, they all fly through the air and bury themselves in the wall bare millimetres from Danny. He didn't have to turn intangible)

DANNY: Wow, you have great aim!

ALY: Thanks! You have great… um… thanks!

GEROGE: Wow, sweetie! You really take after your old man! That was brilliant! 10!

NIKO: Knives aren't necessary –

BRAIR: Yes they are!

NIKO: Quiet down, young mage. As I was saying, I disapprove of knives and this dangerous art of senselessly throwing it at people for no particular reason other than entertainment. It sickens me. 2.

ALY: It is vital for survival!

NIKO: Oh? Throwing knives at a boy who they will just go through in front of an audience is vital for survival?

ALY: Well… no, but –

NIKO: I rest my case.

HERMIONE: Hm… well… that _did_ show good hand-eye coordination, but I also don't approve of knives. 6.

VLAD: Well well well. I see you would be an asset to my group of followers. You show much promise girl, and I admire your choice of entertainment. 8.

SQUIDWARD: That was pretty good. But I'm not really into knives. I'd much rather practice my clarinet… 6.

JUDGE: And the final total is… 32! Let's have a round of applause for Aly!

(Neal, relieved that he wasn't hit by an awry knife or something, joins in the clapping as Aly bows to the audience. Suddenly, in a flash of blue light, a girl dressed in red appears out of thin air)

DANNY: Valerie!

VALERIE: I'll get you this time, Ghost Boy. You will regret ever crossing me. (She charges her massive ecto-gun and fires it at Danny, who flies through the air and lands on… yup, you guessed it… Neal.)

NEAL: (between gasps) Finding… it hard… to breathe…

(Valerie disappears)

JUDGE: Yeah, yeah, quit your whining, you baby! Next up, we have… ROSETHORN!

ROSETHORN: (stomps onstage) I'd say I'm happy to be here, but I'd be lying. I will show to you all how to grow a plant.

JUDGE: Sounds… interesting…

ROSETHORN: Oh, it's not. GET ME A TOMATO PLANT!

(Briar rushed onstage with the desired plant, grins at the judges, and runs back offstage)

ROSETHORN: This tomato plant… it looks like an ordinary tomato plant, because it IS an ordinary tomato plant! Now watch me grow it.

(She holds out her hand to the tomato plant and a burst of green magic comes out of her fingers and into the plant. The plant grows as big as a tree, and the pot shatters. Tomatoes are growing on it as big as… I can't think of anything to describe the size of the tomatoes. OK, they're a little bit bigger than a watermelon, and are round)

ROSETHORN: (Glares at judges) happy? I did your stupid talent performance, and I would like a review on how I did.

GEORGE: That was… short… but it was alright. If you did this to every tomato plant you came across, you'd probably end world hunger! Well, at least for a little while. 6.

NIKO: An excellent exhibition of magic and control over power! 8.

HERMIONE: That was boring. We can do that! Look! (Another tomato plant pops out of nowhere and so does her wand) _Engorgio_! (A/N If that is the wrong spell, just… I dunno. I wont be bothered fixing it)

(The tomato plant grows as big as Rosethorn's)

HERMIONE: HA! See? Witches are just as good as mages! I'll give you a 1. That was a pathetic performance, I gained nothing from it.

VLAD: (Mildly interested) This magic is mildly interested. Just think… If I were to use that spell to enlarge my army, we would be powerful enough to take over the world AND the Ghost Zone! Oh, right. I will give you a 6.

SQUIDWARD: Magic is folly. Therefore your performance was folly. And your attitude… ever heard of "anger management"? 2.

JUDGE: So, Rosethorn's final score is… 23!

ROSETHORN: (walks offstage grumbling about senseless judges and walks past Neal, who is still squashed under Danny, who is unconscious)

NEAL: Help… someone…

ROSETHORN: OH, HELP YOURSELF!

JUDGE: ANYWHO, onto our next contestant… HARRY!

HARRY: (Bounces onstage) YEE! I will sing… THE FUN SONG!

SQUIDWARD: Oh… no… way…

HARRY: (pulls out a ukulele and starts strumming some awful chords) (A/N oh and btw, I changed tiny bits, not that important)

_F is for friends who do stuff together  
U is for you and me_  
_N is for anywhere at anytime at all  
__Down here in the deep blue sea_

_F is for fire that burns down the whole town  
__U is for uranium… BOMBS!  
__N is for no survivors,  
WHEN YOU'RE - no, wait_

_F is for frolic through all the flowers  
__U is for ukulele  
__N is for nose-picking, sharing gum and sand-licking  
__Here with my best buddy_

(Harry starts laughing in tune with the words of the song. If you have seen the episode "F.U.N" from Spongebob Squarepants, then you will know what I am talking about)

SQUIDWARD: SHUT UP! Aaah, I can't take it anymore! (runs off)

(I appear)

ME: Tut tut, we can't have one of the judges running off, now, can we?

(Squidward magically appears back in his seat at the judges' table)

SQUIDWARD: What…? How…? Oh, I give up!

JUDGE: We are awaiting your scores, judges!

GEORGE: That was a nice song, kid! I'll give you a… 7!

NIKO: A bit dull, but it had a good moral. 6.

HERMIONE: Ooh, goodie! We should be encouraging more friendly relationships in this game, and that song is a good start. 9!

VLAD: Aargh! Yawn, so BORED! That was awful! 2!

SQUIDWARD: AAAAAAHHH! No, the horrors of the never-ending torture of Spongebob! Aaaahh!

JUDGE: We need your score –

SQUIDWARD: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

JUDGE: Squidwa-

SQUIDWARD: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

JUDGE: Well, seeing as Squidward will not score young Harry here, I will give you full points instead. 10.

SQUIWARD: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

JUDGE: Oh, shut up! The final score is… 34! Give it up for the Chosen One!

All except Squidward: (loud applause) Yay! Woot! Yee! Go Harry!

SQUIWARD: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

JUDGE (clears throat very loudly): Squidward, SHUT UP!

(I appear)

ME: Hahaha as I sit here and write this there are really loud kookaburras outside and they sound so funny! (Starts laughing hysterically) (A/N there really are kookaburras, I love kookaburras, they are so dumb!)

JUDGE: Um… you can leave now…

ME: Hang on a minute… (laughs even more hysterically for a few minutes) OK, I'm done.

(I disappear)

JUDGE: AS I was saying, it is now Numair's turn!

(A/N Numair's performance is dedicated to Pink Squishy Llama because you gave me this idea. Claps for you! Anyways, I would have updated earlier, but Dad has unplugged my internet (starts grumbling about mouldy jelly). I hope that I can update sooner so I will not die of guilt S)

NUMAIR: I will sing you all a song that is very dear to me: a song recorded by the Black Eyed Peas. HIT IT! (background music starts up)

_What you gonna do with all that junk?  
All that junk inside your trunk?  
I'm gonna get, get, get you drunk,  
Get you love drunk off my hump.  
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,  
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps!  
__Check it out!_

(Numair starts dancing around the stage and everyone looks at each other, trying not to laugh. Numair continues to sing)

_I drive these brothers crazy,  
I do it on the daily,  
They treat me really nicely,  
They buy me all these ices.  
Dolce & Gabbana,  
Fendi and Madonna  
Karen, they be sharin'  
All their money got me wearin' fly  
Brother I ain't askin,  
They say they love my ass in  
Seven Jeans, True Religion,  
I say no, but they keep givin'  
So I keep on takin'  
And no I ain't taken  
We can keep on datin'  
I keep on demonstrating. _

My love, my love, my love, my love  
You love my lady lumps,  
My hump, my hump, my hump,  
My humps they got you,

_She's got me spending.  
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me.  
She's got me spendin'.  
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, on me, on me_

George (trying really hard not to laugh, his face has already gone bright red): OK, Numair, I think that's enough…

VLAD: Yeah, seriously. You are _really_ creeping me out…

(Numair continues to sing)

_What you gonna do with all that junk?  
All that junk inside that trunk?  
I'm gonna get, get, get you drunk,  
Get you love drunk off my hump.  
What u gonna do with all that ass?  
All that ass inside them jeans?  
I'm gonna make, make, make you scream  
Make you scream, make you scream.  
Coz of my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.  
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps. (Check it out) _

I met a girl down at the disco.  
She said hey, hey, hey yeah let's go.  
I could be your baby, you can be my honey  
Let's spend time not money.  
And mix your milk wit my cocoa puff,  
Milky, milky cocoa,  
Mix your milk with my cocoa puff, milky, milky riiiiiiight

HERMIONE: DUDE! THAT'S ENOUGH!

GEORGE: Please, seriously Numair, it's really scary… this song is meant to be sung by a _girl_…

NUMAIR: Oh, stop being so sexist!

SQUIDWARD (Pulls earplugs out of his nonexistent ears): He's done? Oh, good!

JUDGE: Alright, judges, we need your scores. Don't be too hard on poor Numy here!

VLAD: Oh… my… GOD! Seriously, that was the #&$ worst performance I had seen in my #$$# life! #$&( )#&$ # #$&# ($#& ($& ! &$&( $&( &(& && ! #(&( #$&& )&(&& ! #$ & (&($! & #! &()& &(! $#&) ()&$! # &! #&()! & #& #$&$&) $#! # &( (&$! $&(& $(! & )&#! $&(& &&! & $&(&! (walks off down the beach grumbling swear words under his breath)

JUDGE (completely surprised): Wow, I had no idea old Vladdy had such a colourful vocabulary… I'll take that as a 10! Fungus, aren't you gonna bring him back?

(I appear)

ME: Oh goodie, you finally started calling me Fungus again! Well, I will bring him back later. I wouldn't want you children to learn all those bad words! Bye!

(I disappear)

JUDGE: OK… next score!

GEORGE: Well… (tries to hold back laughter) that was very… (snorts) entertaining… (gives in and starts laughing hysterically, rolling around on the floor)

NUMAIR (looking excited): does that mean you like it?

GEORGE: (continues to laugh hysterically)

JUDGE: That means he loved it!

NUMAIR (claps hands): Goodie!

JUDGE: Well, seeing as young George here is in no position to speak, I will score for him. 10!

GEORGE: (laughs even more hysterically, if that is possible)

HERMIONE: (Staring at Numair with her eyes wide open, her face has gone deathly white): What… the… hell… is… your… PROBLEM?

JUDGE: Miss Granger? We need your score.

HERMIONE: (Just stares at Numair in shock, speechless)

JUDGE: I'll take that as a 10!

HERMIONE: (Stares in shock)

JUDGE: OK, seeing as we have her consent… next score!

NIKO: I have the right to remain silent I have the right to remain silent I have the right to remain silent I have the right to remain silent I have the right to remain silent I have the ri –

JUDGE: SHUT UP!

NIKO: I HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT! (he suddenly disappears)

JUDGE: Erm… OK, that's two judges gone! Congratulations, Numair, a new record!

NUMAIR: YAY!

JUDGE: And… when the judge isn't here, it means full marks! 10!

SQUIWARD: (takes deep breath) That… was…

NUMAIR: (looking even more excited) Great? Awesome? Wonderful?

SQUIDWARD: Try AWFUL, HORRIBLE, and AN INSULT TO MODERN MUSIC! -100000000000!

JUDGE: Squiddy ol' pal, you can't go lower than 1.

SQUIWARD: 1! How am I supposed to show how horrible that was when I can only give him a 1? Fine! 1!

JUDGE: OK, Numair, your final score is… 41!

NUMAIR: YEEEEEE! (jumps offstage and dances around, accidentally tripping over Neal's head which was sticking out from under Danny, who is STILL unconscious)

NEAL: QUIT IT!

JUDGE: Alrightio. Next up is… DAINE!

DAINE: (walks onstage with a tray full of test tubes containing some sort of blue-green liquid smelling of burnt hair) Can I first give the judges some refreshments?

JUDGE: Depends… what is in those test tubes?

DAINE: Um… ahh… (glances around everywhere but at Judge) lemonade?

JUDGE: (looks suspicious) hmm… (grins) OK! FUNGUS! Get your butt down here and get those judges back!

(I appear)

ME: Oh, alright! I'd have thought you'r be pleased they were gone (rolls eyes) I sure was…

(Niko and Vlad reappear in their seats again, looking dejected)

NIKO: Oh, not again!

VLAD: I thought I got away for good!

ME: Nope. Tough luck. I'm off to eat sommore ice cream! Byez!

(I disappear)

DAINE: Good! You two got back just in time to have some of my lemonade and judge me!

VLAD: (sarcastically) Oh, great. That's wonderful. (rolls eyes)

DAINE: (holds out tray to judges) Here you go, have some!

HERMIONE: (looks at test tubes, gags and reclines) That? You want us to drink THAT?

DAINE: (smiles) Yup!

SQUIDWARD: I'm not drinking tha –

DAINE: (Transforms into huge grizzly bear) YOU WILL DRINK IT OR FEEL MY WRATH!

SQUIDWARD: (Waving his hand in front of his nose) Feel your _breath_ more like…

DAINE: DRINK IT!

SQUIDWARD: OK, OK! Sheesh! (drinks one of the test tubes, and so does Hermione, Vlad, George and Niko)

(A/N I think you all know that Daine's "lemonade" isn't _really_ lemonade, but I don't know why George doesn't – after all, he _does_ have the Sight. Oh well, it is one of those unexplained mysteries of the world)

DAINE: (turns back into her normal self) Good! Now, I will be singing… "I've Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts"!

JUDGE (groans): Not this song AGAIN! Do you know how many times I hear Fungus and her friends sing it?

DAINE: Nope, and I don't care! (Takes deep breath)

_I've got a loverly bunch of coconuts!_  
_(doodily doodily)  
__There they are, standing in a row!  
(Bop! Bop! Bop!)_

_Big ones, small ones,  
__Some as big as your head!  
__Just give 'em a twist  
__A flick of the wrist  
__That's what the showman said!_

DAINE: (Stand there on the stage, tilting her head, looking confused) Um… that's all I know…

JUDGE: Good! Judges, we AWAIT your VERDICT!

GEORGE: Amazing. 9.

NIKO: Exquisite. 9.

HERMIONE: Enchanting. 9.

VLAD: Wonderful. 9.

SQUIDWARD: Beautiful. 9.

JUDGE: Um… the finishing score is 45?

DAINE: YAY!

JUDGE: OK, what did you do to the judges?

DAINE: (Shrugs) I dunno. You tell me!

JUDGE: WHAT DID YOU DO!

DAINE: Um… I kinda spiked their lemonade…

JUDGE: Well, I suppose there is no rule against that… as long as they live as long as to judge the other competitors, you're fine!

DAINE: Oh sure, they'll live! In fact, the effects should wear off in approximately 10 seconds! Let's sit down and wait.

(Everyone waits three hundred and seventy-four years and finally, the judges come too)

GEORGE: What… what happened?

DAINE: NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!

GEORGE: (shrinks back in his seat) Yes ma'am!

JUDGE: You do realise that you have given young Daine here a 45?

HERMIONE: Um… OK… if you say so…

JUDGE: Great! Next up will be… DOVE!

DOVE: (prances onstage) Oh, I'm so happy to be here! I'd like to thank my mother, my father, my sisters, my brother, my darking –

JUDGE: SHUT UP! This isn't a movie award! Now tell us what you are going to do, and DO IT!

DOVE: Um…I am going to… teach music theory! YAY!

(Silence)

DOVE: APPLAUD OR I WILL HAVE YOUR HEADS!

(applause)

DOVE: (smiles) good. Now, may I have a chalkboard and some chalk?

(A chalkboard and a bucket of chalk appears)

DOVE: (walks over to bucket) HEY, there isn't any black chalk! I WANT BLACK CHALK!

JUDGE: No, you don't. You can't see black chalk on a blackboard!

DOVE: Well, that just shows what you know! (gets out pink chalk) Now, I am going to draw a symbol on the board. (Draws a huge, messy treble clef and labels it) Now, what is this?

ALL: A treble clef? (rolls eyes)

DOVE: Very good! How did you all know that?

BRIAR: You wrote it underneath, you bleat-brain!

DOVE: DON'T CALL ME THAT! OK, now what is this? (Draws a really huge, messy bass clef and also labels it)

ALL: A bass clef? (rolls eyes)

DOVE: STOP BEING SMART! I AM MEANT TO TEACH YOU!

JUDGE: Then stop labelling them!

DOVE: (glances at the board) Oh… whoopsie… OK then, I will ask you the questions orally!

JUDGE: Just get on with it!

DOVE: What is _forte_?

NIKO: Loud.

DOVE: What is _piano_?

NIKO: Soft.

DOVE: What is _mezzo forte_?

NIKO: Moderately loud.

DOVE: What is _pianissimo_?

NIKO: Very soft.

DOVE: ACK, What is it with you and your nerdiness? MUST you be so _annoying_? OK, I'm OUTTA HERE! (runs off screaming)

NIKO: (looks bewildered) What? What did I do?

JUDGE: You were being a nerd. Couldn't you have gone a little easier on her?

NIKO: I was just answering her questions!

JUDGE: (rolls eyes) Whatever. I need your scores.

GEORGE: Well, that was quite a performance at the end there… and a break from the horrid singing… 8.

NIKO: (feeling bad for Dove) 10.

HERMIONE: Well, that was very educational! I keep forgetting the _mezzo forte_ one! 10!

VLAD: Hmm… music is actually quite entertaining when not sung by this bunch – (waves hand towards the contestants) so… 6.

SQUIDWARD: Oh, goodie! Finally, something musical that wasn't giving me a headache! _Bravo_! 8!

JUDGE: Wow, impressive scores that you didn't have to cheat to get! Your final score is… 42!

**Wow, 14 pages in size 12! Claps for me! Woot! Aww, I didn't get as many reviews for that last chapter :'( if I don't get encouragement, I will be discouraged from writing! How am I supposed to know if you guys like it or not? The more reviews I get, the faster I will be encouraged to update… I've already made a start on part III… please review? For me? puppy dog eyes c'mon, do it for the pixelly pistachio nut shells!**


	7. Day 4 Part III

**OK… not as many people reviewed the last chapter :'( But a big thanks to those who did! Sorry for all those Geroges, I accidentally added "Geroge" into my dictionary and now stupid spellcheck wont tell me when I misspell it. All that are left are Kel, Tris, Neal and Briar. Yay!**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the performances by Briar or Kel. Kel's performance was by Insubordinance, and Briar's was by Cowgirl4Christ. Hmm, interesting names...

**Previously on Survivor: **Most of the talent competition has taken place – this is the final part. So far the scores are: Alanna – 34, Numair – 41, Aly – 32, Roger – 34, Rosethorn – 23, Harry – 34, Daine – 45, Dove – 42, Daja – 31, Lark – 31 and Berenene – 23.

**Day 4 cont.:**

JUDGE: Great. Now we have… NEAL!

(silence)

JUDGE: Neal? It's your turn.

NEAL: I CAN'T GET OUT FROM UNDERNEATH THIS KID! HE WEIGHS A TON!

DANNY: (opens eyes) Oh, is it your turn already?

NEAL: What? You weren't unconscious?

DANNY: Nope. I was just pretending to be! (gives Neal a big grin and disappears before Neal punches his head in)

NEAL: Oh, great… (gets down on his knees and look up at the sky) WHAT DID I DO!

JUDGE: NEAL! Get your butt onstage!

NEAL (jumps onstage): Fine, fine. For my talent, I will be singing _It's a Small World_! Ready?

_It's a world of laughter, a world of tears_  
_It's a world of hope and a world of fears  
__There's so much that we share that it's time we're aware  
__It's a small world after all_

_It's a small world after all  
__It's a small world after all  
__It's a small world after all  
__It's a small, small world_

_There is just one moon and one golden sun  
__And a smile means friendship to everyone  
__Though the oceans are wide and the mountains divide  
__It's a small world after all_

_It's a small world after all  
It's a small world after all  
It's a small world after all  
It's a small, small world_

HERMIONE: Wow! That was actually a good performance! High five!

GEORGE: I quite agree. I'll give you a… 9!

NIKO: Oh, that is a wonderful little ditty! And you have a marvellous singing voice, young warrior! 10!

HERMIONE: Oh, I've always been quite fond of that song… 9.

VLAD: (grumbles) That song is quite irritating, especially when darn Fungus sings it all the time, but I suppose you _do_ have quite a smashing voice… 7

SQUIDWARD: I believe true music is in the instruments, but you portrayed that quite well. 8.

NEAL: YEE! Good scores!

JUDGE: Alrightio… the final score is… 43! (A/N wow, the contestants _do_ seem to be getting better…)

NEAL: Yay! 43! I'm so happy! (starts dancing around on the stage. He accidentally dances too close to the edge…)

NEAL: Oof! Ouchies! I think I sprained my ankle! (jumps up and starts dancing again) Yay! Wheee! Woot! Yippee!

JUDGE: Riiiiiiight… next up we have… TRIS!

TRIS: (walks onstage) Alright… I'm gonna do a sort of light show with lightning. Here goes.

(Tris pulls out some of her braids and she gets huge lightning bolts in her hands. She turns them into a lot of mini-bolts and starts juggling)

ALL: Ooooooooh…

(Tris then merges all the mini-bolts into one and throws it up in the air and catches it behind her back. She throws it up and catches it again)

ALL: Aaaaaaaah…

(Tris then turns the big bolt of lightning into two rings of lightning and twirls them around her wrists)

ALL: Wooooooooooow…

(Tris then throws up the two rings of lightning and crosses them over in midair. They come back down and she manages to catch one. The other one lands on Neal, electrocuting him. Neal dies)

TRIS: Um… whoopsies…?

(I appear and bring Neal back to life)

ME: Wow, Tris, that was great, and of course you're my favourite character of all time (I glare at everyone else) but you killed Neal. I'm sorry, but that means you are disqualified. I'm so sorry!

(I disappear)

TRIS: Aww! (re-braids the lightning into her hair and walks offstage, looking dejected)

JUDGE: Um… OK… that was sudden… next contestant is… KEL!

KEL: (jumps onstage) FINALLY! I've been waiting FOREVER! I'm going to do a marvellously wonderful glaive routine!

(Kel grabs her glaive, which just so magically and conveniently happens to be lying against the wall of the stage. She swings it around, does all these fancy attack moves and steps, and starts off really slowly. She then gets gradually faster…)

ALL: gasp shock, awe and wonder

(Kel gets faster and faster and faster and… you get the point… until her glaive is just a blur. Then she goes even FASTER and you can't see anything at all, you just _know_ her glaive is there. Suddenly it stops, and Kel stands there on the stage, puffing)

Kel: So… (gasp) how did I… (gasp) do?

GEORGE: WHOA! That was totally awesome! 10!

NIKO: Hmm… It did show great stamina and balance… 6

HERMIONE: Well, that was pretty cool. And fast. Very, very fast. 7.

VLAD: Well, it was quite entertaining. Would be very useful in the battlefield.

KEL: Oh, it is! My glaive skills have saved me on more than one occasion. There was the one time, where –

VLAD: Yeah, yeah. I don't care. 9.

SQUIDWARD: This was just like a repeat of that redhead's performance, Alex or whatever her name is. Just different weapons. 6.

JUDGE: And the final score is… 38!

KEL: YIPPEE!

(A/N Do any of you readers out there have a Trainer4Alignment? If you do, then you would understand the pain I am in right now. My god, do dentists design these to put you in severe hurt? It seems like that right now... "grumbles about evil teeth doctors")

JUDGE: Alright then! Right, now we have Briar!

NEAL: WAIT!

JUDGE: What is it?

NEAL: I didn't get hurt during that performance! THE CURSE IS BROKEN!

JUDGE: Erm… OK… Briar?

BRIAR: (Walks onstage) I will be… picking 10 locks in 30 seconds! )snaps fingers and a table pops up out of thin air. There are 10 locked jewellery boxes sitting on it) OK, someone say ready, set, go!

ALL: Ready… set… GO!

(Briar picks all the locks and opens all the jewellery boxes in about 20 seconds flat)

BRIAR: (Stands and bows to the applause)

GEORGE: Man, that was cool! Finally, someone who is nearly as fast as me! 9!

NIKO: Briar, what have I told you about this sort of low behaviour?

BRIAR: You said that is was… barbaric…

NIKO: Exactly.

BRIAR: But I don't care, I'll do what I want you old Bag!

(I appear)

ME: High five! (me and Briar high-five each other)

(I disappear)

NIKO: 2.

BRIAR: Aww, that's not nice!

NIKO: Who said I was nice?

(Campfire Kid appears)

CK: Once again, THAT'S MY LINE!

(Campfire Kid disappears)

HERMIONE: (glares disapprovingly) You can invade people's privacy? That isn't very good. 3.

VLAD: Hmm… quite an interesting performance there, old chap. 7.

SQUIWARD: Honestly, I couldn't care less. Fungus, you can score for me.

(I appear)

ME: YEE! Well, I don't want Briar to go out… yet…because he is awesome, more awesome than a lot of _you people_ (I glare at some of the other contestants) So I will give you 100,000.

JUDGE: Um… you can't go higher than 10…

ME: _I_ can. I created you, I can do whatever I want! If I wanted, I could make it rain chocolate syrup right now! But I'm saving it for my ice cream later, so I wont. So, 100,000.

JUDGE: (sighs) Fine.

(I disappear)

JUDGE: Your final score is… 100,021.

BRIAR: YEEEEE! WHEEEEEEEE! WOOT! I WIN I WIN I WIN I WIN I WIN! (Walks offstage and punches Neal for being too… Nealy)

NEAL: Aww, man!

JUDGE: (grins widely) Hey, I just realised that that is the end of the competition! That's everyone! Yessah!

OTHER JUDGES: Does that mean we can go home now?

JUDGE: Yup.

(The other judges pop into non-existence)

JUDGE: OK, lets do a quick review of the performances, just to get a refreshment of the readers' minds of what has happened. (A/N Feel free to skip over this part)

Alanna - Diabolo routine to "Let Me Entertain You". 34.  
Numair – Sang "My Humps". 41.  
Aly – Knife-throwing routine. 32.  
Kel – Glaive routine. 38.  
Roger – Recited "I Love a Sunburnt Country". 34.  
Tris – Lightning show. Disqualified.  
Rosethorn – Grew a tomato plant. 23.  
Harry – Sang "F.U.N.". 34.  
Daine – Sang "I've Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts". 45.  
Dove – Taught music theory. 42.  
Neal – Sang "It's a Small World". 43.  
Daja – Did a torch-juggling routine. 31.  
Briar – Lock-picking. 100,021.  
Lark – Gymnastics routine. 31.  
Berenene – Sang "My Heart Will Go On". 23.

JUDGE: Alright. The person with the lowest score will be voted out. And it seems that that person is… Tris! She didn't get scored because she was disqualified!

(I appear)

ME: Hold on. That is not necessarily true. You said, "The person with the lowest score goes out". You also said that Tris "didn't get scored". So, she if she didn't even get scored, then she doesn't have the lowest score! HA! Tris stays in!

(I disappear)

TRIS: Yippee! I get to stay! (thinks about what she said) I mean, aww, I have to stay!

JUDGE: Alrighy then! We'll look for the other person with the lowest score. And that person is…hmm, it seems that we have a tie, ladies and gentlemen! Rosethorn and Berenene! You know what that means?

RANDOM PERSON: A competition between the two and whoever looses goes out?

JUDGE: No. It means they both go out! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

ROSETHORN: Why you little…

BERENENE: You can't vote me out! I am the Empress! Off with your heads!

(Fire Nation guards come on and drag the two off, with Berenene still screaming, "Off with your head!")

JUDGE: Finally, the end to the talent competition! And that's it for tonight, folks!

**Phew Finally! We see an end to the treacherous talent comp! And I promise that next chapter will be good. I hope. LOL. Well, it will probably be better than this competition. Thanx to all you who reviewed! There weren't many of you "starts to cry"**


	8. Day 5

**Nyack nyack nyack nyack…**

**Day 5:**

**Team Fungus:**

HARRY: Hey, guys! I found the basket!

TRIS: Good. Now promise you won't tell the judge we have a basket.

HARRY: But won't he –

TRIS: PROMISE!

HARRY: I promise.

TRIS: Good. Now, what's in it today?

HARRY: (peers in) Roast duck!

(Uncle Iroh appears)

IROH: MINE!

(Iroh snatches basket and disappears)

JUDGE: (watching from afar) OK… (walks up to Team Fungus) Who was that old bag?

(I appear)

ME: Iroh.

(I disappear)

JUDGE: OK… anyways, onto today's task. You will be… hang on, why bother going to two teams and waste energy? (takes deep breath) BUMBLE BEES! GET YOUR BUTTS HERE NOW!

(silence)

JUDGE: Ahem… I _said_, BUMBLE BEES! GET YOUR BUTTS HERE _NOW_!

(I appear)

ME: You didn't say please.

JUDGE: Oh, come _on_!

ME: We must make the world a happier place and say please! I won't make them come until you say please.

JUDGE: (rolls eyes) Oh, fine. BUMBLE BEES! _PLEASE_ (makes face) GET YOUR BUTTS HERE NOW!

ME: Uh uh uh! That wasn't nice! Ask nicely.

JUDGE: Ugh. Bumble Bees, please come here.

ME: (Claps hands and grins) Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?

JUDGE: (Grumbles)

(I disappear)

(The Bumble Bees appear, looking bewildered)

Dove: Erm… how'd we get here?

MY DISEMBODIED VOICE: With the awesome powers of my great Fungusy goodness!

NEAL: Oh, that clears it all up!

JUDGE: OK! Now for your task. You will be –

RANDOM FISH: HOOPLA!

JUDGE: (Clears throat) Ahem… as I was saying, you will be –

RANDOM FISH: HOOPLA!

JUDGE: (clears throat and talks louder) _You will be_ –

RANDOM FISH: HOOPLA!

JUDGE: WHO THE HELL IS MAKING THAT NOISE? And will you SHUT UP!

RANDOM FISH: HOOPLA! HOOPLA! HOOPLA! HOO – (gets hit in the head with a flying mallet)

JUDGE: (Clears throat) Now that that issue has been taken care of… you will be searching for… THE HOLY HAMBURGER STAND!

ALL: The what?

JUDGE: THE HOLY HAMBURGER STAND!

ALL: The what?

JUDGE: THE HOLY HAMBURGER STAND!

ALL: The –

(I appear)

ME: NOT THIS AGAIN! He said "the holy hamburger stand". Now shut up and get on with it!

JUDGE: I thought the world was supposed to be friendly and happy and stuff…?

ME: Do you want to find yourself breathing through a tube shortly?

JUDGE: No ma'am.

ME: THEN SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE! (Pauses) Tee hee, I like pie…

(I disappear)

JUDGE: ANYWAYS, you will search for the Holy Hamburger Stand, which is currently missing, and I am hungry for some meat. Team Fungus, you will be going that way (points to the left) and Bumble Bees will be going that way (points to the right). You will have special helpers to assist you on your way. Survivors ready… go!

(The two teams scramble off in their assigned directions)

**Team Fungus:**

ALANNA: I wonder how long it will take for our helper to get here?

(Inuyasha falls from the sky)

INUYASHA: (annoyed) I have to help you, humans. What do you want?

ALANNA: Wow, that was quick…

KEL: We have to find a hamburger stand.

HARRY: Not just any hamburger stand… THE HOLY HAMBURGER STAND! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

(silence)

INUYASHA: Hamburgers? Why didn't you say so? I'm starved!

NUMAIR: Amazing! Young lad, you appear to be… a half demon, half human hybrid, correct?

(Danny Phantom appears)

DANNY: I'm a half ghost, half human hybrid! We have something in common! HIGH FIVE!

(Danny high fives Inuyasha and disappears)

INUYASHA: Um… OK… and yes, I'm a half demon. Duh. I wonder what gave you that idea?

NUMAIR: It wasn't easy, but I guessed from your sharp canine teeth…

INUYASHA: You didn't catch the sarcasm, did you? I HAVE DOG EARS! AND CLAWS! Wow, you must be the champion observant! Now, off to find those hamburgers… (kneels down on ground and starts sniffing)

ROGER: Ooh ooh, me too! (kneels and sniffs the ground too)

INUYASHA: (stares)

ROGER: What? It's fun!

INUYASHA: Anyways… the hamburgers are just behind this bush here. (points to bush)

ALY: Really? That was quick.

(They pull back the bush and there is a basic hamburger stand with a giant silver halo and massive, neon billboards surrounding it saying "The Holy Hamburger Stand" with arrows pointing to the stand)

NUMAIR: You think this is it?

TRIS: (Sarcastically) No! As a matter of fact, I don't think it is!

NUMAIR: Oh. Well, we'd better get a move on –

INUYASHA: IDIOT! (hits Numair over the head)

TRIS: (Walks up to the stand) Who are you?

ALY: KYPRIOTH!

KYPRIOTH: ALY!

INUYASHA: HAMBURGERS!

HARRY: WHEE! (runs in circles)

**The Bumble Bees:**

NEAL: _I've got a loverly bunch of coconuts! There they are, standing in a row! BOP BOP BOP! Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head! Just give them a twist, a flick of the wrist, that's what the showman said!_

DAJA: (Twitches)

NEAL_: I've got a loverly bunch of coconuts! There they are, standing in a row! BOP BOP BOP! Big ones_ –

DAJA: SHUT UP!

NEAL: (silence)

(The Bumble Bees walk in silence for a few more seconds)

NEAL: (Takes deep breath) _Big ones, small ones, some as big as your_ –

DAJA: (Gets massive mallet out of nowhere and whacks Neal over the head) NOW WHO'S SINGING! (Twitches)

NEAL: _head…_ (collapses)

(Toph appears out of nowhere and slaps Neal)

TOPH: GET UP! I have to help you, but I'm not carrying you around like a baby!

DAINE: You must be our helper! What's your name?

TOPH: Toph.

LARK: (peers at Toph's really pale green eyes) You appear to be blind!

TOPH: I am. Great observation.

BRIAR: Oh, great. We have some little blind kid supposedly leading us to victory.

TOPH: (uses her earthbending to lift a huge amount of sand in the air and dumps it onto Briar) Anyone else got objections?

ALL: (silence)

TOPH: Good. Now, GET YOUR BUTTS IN GEAR AND LETS MOVE IT!

NEAL_: I like to move it move it… I like to move it move it… I like to move it move it… I like to… MOVE IT!_

DAJA: Oh God, now there's no stopping him…

TOPH: Just watch me. (Glares at Neal, who instantly shuts up and cowers in fear)

DAJA: THANK YOU! (hails Toph)

TOPH: (smiles smugly) Lets go!

(After walking for fifteen billion years and a half, they still haven't found the Holy Hamburger Stand, but they have found a lot of other useless things…)

LARK: My feet hurt! And what are we supposed to do with a Holy Grail?

DAINE: Or this Philosophers Stone?

(Alphonse Elric appears)

AL: MINE!

(Al snatches the Philosophers Stone and disappears)

(Voldemort appears)

VOLDEMORT: Did you say you had a Philosophers Stone?

DOVE: Eww, get him away from me! He's so ugly!

VOLDEMORT: (starts to cry) It's not my fault!

(Voldemort disappears)

BRAIR: UGH! When are we gonna find the –

(The Bumble Bees fall into a huge hole)

LARK: Wow, how did we miss that?

NEAL: _I want to change the world…_

ALL: SHUT UP!

DAINE: Great, how are we gonna get out of here?

TOPH: (uses earthbending to lift herself up. She gets to the top and sits down, watching them) New question – how are _you_ gonna get out of _there_?

NEAL: _This is the song that never ends… it just goes on and on my friend… some people started singing it not knowing what it was and now they're something singing it forever just because… this is the song that never ends… it just goes on and on my –_

(Flying leg of ham comes and knocks him unconscious)

DAJA: Aah, peace at last…

DOVE: Can you please get us out of here?

TOPH: I don't wanna…

BRIAR: You can leave him here! (points to Neal)

TOPH: OK! Oh, by the way, we've been going the wrong way the whole time. We passed the Holy Hamburger Stand ages ago.

ALL: WHAT?

TOPH: If I get you up here, you promise not to kill me? Or hurt me in any way?

LARK: Alright, we promise.

TOPH: OK! (lifts them out, leaving Neal lying on the bottom, unconscious)

(The Bumble Bees lift Toph in the air and run towards the sea)

TOPH: HEY!

(I appear)

ME: HEY! Hands off Toph! Hehe, that rhymes… Anyways, if I transport you back to the Holy Hamburger Stand, will you promise not to hurt Toph?

ALL; YES! YESYESYESYESYES!

TRIS: Yeah, just get us back to the Hamburger Stand!

NEAL: (calling out from bottom of hole) The _Holy_ Hamburger Stand!

ME: Hang on… you're in Team Fungus!

TRIS: Oh yeah… (disappears)

ME: Guys, you've gotta take Neal with you…

(Neal appears)

NEAL: _I want to change the world…_

ME: Well, have fun!

(The Bumble Bees are magically transported to the hamburger stand)

BRIA: YAY! HAMBURGERS!

ME: Too late!

(I transport everyone to the judging place)

TEAM FUNGUS: We don't need to be here!

ME: Meh, I'm too lazy to move you. Judge, do your stuff! (I disappear)

JUDGE: You know what to do! Vote out the most hated person. Have fun!

(All turn to Neal)

NEAL: (cowers) What?

ME: WWWWWAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT! You can't vote out Neal.

DAJA: WHY NOT? (twitches)

ME: Coz he's too much fun to torture!

JUDGE: I understand…

(everyone votes, glaring at Neal the whole time)

JUDGE: And the person to go out is… LARK! Tee hee!

LARK: Those who search for the truth seek it not because it is lost, but because they are…

JUDGE: Um… just get off the set…

**Sigh, I hope that was alright. I won't be updating as often, as you would have gathered, lol.**


	9. Day 6 Part I

**FINALLY! A new chapter! NYAHAHAHA! Well, I realised that I had stopped updating this when I continued working on The Melody in the Music, until I realised that I had stopped working on that too… and it is all the result of my terminal laziness… or my lack of focus. Your choice. Anywho, IM IN A SUPER HYPERACTIVE MOOD TONIGHT! (which doesn't really make sense, seeing as I have been watching FMA and listening to My Chemical Romance :S) Oh well, must have been those sour worms. And super hyperactive means… NEW CHAPTER! YAY FOR YOU!**

**WARNING: Written on a sugar high. Contains a lot of Full Metal Alchemist and Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide. Weird mix, I know. Sugar high, remember? And there are also many appearances of Zadarikon, a group of people from an AWESOME story my friend, CatofCompleteChaos, is writing.**

**TIME FOR A MASS DISCLAIMER!!**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own W.I.T.C.H. I don't own the Easter bunny. I don't own my black pen. I don't own Inuyasha (If I did, the series would be called "Sesshomaru" or "Kagura"). I don't own Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide. I don't own Danny Phantom. I don't own The Holy Fudge. I don't own Full Metal Alchemist. I don't own Zadarikon. I don't own Jack Black sniff. I don't own a kitten. I don't own Santa. I don't own roast chicken – that was gone long ago. And last but not least, I DON'T OWN ANYTHING BY TAMORA PIERCE!

**Day 6: (Day six? Is that all? Wow, I'm slack…)**

**Team Fungus:**

ME: BASKET TIME!! YAHAHANYAWHEE!

ALANNA: Is it just me, or are you super hyperactive today?

ME: TONIGHT!! GEEZ, GET IT RIGHT! It's10:12pm EASTERN DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME! Ugh, I hate daylight savings…

NUMAIR: (looks up) Well, judging by the positioning of the sun, it's only around eight in the morning –

ME: Shut it, nerd.

NUMAIR FANS: GASP!!

ME: So, where's the basket?

ALY: You're… holding it.

ME: (looks down) Oh, I am too! (throws basket to Kel)

KEL: Should I open it?

TRIS: Yeah! I'm hungry!

HARRY: You're _always_ hungry!

TRIS: DIE, POTTY! (fries Harry with lightning)

ME: Hey, I just made someone other than Neal die… feels weird… BUT FUN! (brings Harry back to life)

HARRY: HEY! You just killed me! YOU MUST DIE! _AVADA KEDAVRA!_

(Although Harry does not have his wand, Tris magically dies anyway)

ME: HEY! (Bring Tris back to life) THAT WAS JUST UNCALLED FOR! You're gonna get it now! (changes his lightning-bolt scar – which Tris surprisingly hates – into the words "I am a loser with a stick for my deadliest weapon")

HARRY: Aww, look what you did!

KEL: HEY! Isn't anyone gonna pay attention to the basket? And where's Judge?

(Judge randomly pops out of the basket and confetti bursts everywhere)

JUDGE: HERE I AM! YOU ALL WIN! HUZZAHRAY!

ME: THAT'S MY WORD! (Bashes up Judge)

JUDGE: Aww, don't bully me… anyways, onto today's task! It is the ANNUAL EXTREME SCAVANGER HUNT!

ALANNA: What's so extreme about it?

JUDGE: Uh… I'm still working on that! But I assure you, it **will** be… EXTREME!

ROGER: OOH! WILL THERE BE DAISIES AND SQUIRRELS INVOLVED??

JUDGE: Uh… no.

ROGER: AWW! (cries)

JUDGE: Anywho, here is a list of the items you need to collect.

- - - - -

List of Items

The Heart of Kandrakhar (courtesy of _W.I.T.C.H._)

The Easter Bunny

A sparkly red-and-black pen (courtesy of my lack of focus… once again… **A/N does anyone else have an annoying knack for losing red pencils or black pens? IT IS KILLING ME!!**)

A shard of the Shikon Jewel (courtesy of _Inuyasha_)

A Weasel on a Unicycle (courtesy of Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide)

The Crown of Fury (courtesy of _Danny Phantom_ – OK, I would have used the Ring of Rage but I hate rings and the Crown is covered in cool red flames…)

A picture of my friend wearing makeup (courtesy of all those good-humoured girls at camp… but _no_, the staff HAD to loose my camera… and there's no way in hell I'll ever see her in makeup again…)

A dragon

A giant fan (courtesy of my dear cousins and my giant obsession with fans…heh, giant obsession, giant fan, get it? -awkward silence- oh boy do I try…)

The Holy Fudge

- - - - -

JUDGE: The team who finds all their items first wins. You get a helper, as you did in the previous chapter – I don't quite know why… I guess Fungus just likes random crossovers.

(silence)

KEL: So… who is our helper?

JUDGE: (startled out of a trance) OH! Yeah, you get the short kid with the shorter temper – EDWARD ELRIC!

(Ed appears)

ED: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING SO DAMN SHORT YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE WITH A MAGNIFYING GLASS? YOU'RE NOT SO TALL YOURSELF! I'M GONNA RIP YOUR FREAKISHLY GIANT HEAD OFF YOUR FREAKISHLY GIANT BODY AND –

JUDGE: You just managed to call me short and freakishly tall in the same paragraph…

ED: (goes red) Well, uh… why am I here anyways?

JUDGE: You're helping them on their scavenger hunt – their _extreme_ scavenger hunt!

ED: What's so extreme about it?

JUDGE: … I'm still working on it, OK?!

(Judge disappears and reappears at The Bubble Bees)

**The Bumble Bees**

JUDGE: HOWDY DOOOOOOOOOO!

DOVE: Uh… fine?

JUDGE: Task time task time… here, I need to you to hold this for me for the moment… (hands Briar a penguin wearing a tie) HIS NAME IS LEMINEMIHEMIDEMISEMIQUAVERAGNIKAIBUCKETNEE!

BRIAR: Sorry, what was that?

JUDGE: Leminemihemidemisemiquaveragnikaibucketnee.

BRIAR: Oh. He's cute.

JUDGE: ARE YOU CALLING HIM FAT?

BRIAR: No!

JUDGE: Good…

DAINE: So, um, what's the task?

JUDGE: An Extreme Scavenger Hunt! Any questions?

(All hands go up)

JUDGE: Yeah?

ALL: What's so extreme about it?

JUDGE: I'm WORKING on it, OK?! _STOP PRESSURING ME!!_

(silence)

JUDGE: Anywho, here is your list of things you gotta find.

- - - - -

List of Items

Two flaming broadswords (courtesy of Zadarikon – thanks Maddie!)

The Greatest Song in the World (yes, I've been listening to 'Tribute' by Jack Black…)

A kitten

Santa Claus

A Roast Chicken (courtesy of my Health project… my day's work seems to affect my stories… hm…)

Beka from _Terrier_! (courtesy of my goddess, Tamora Pierce!!)

A violin bow

The Microsoft Word paperclip (courtesy of Microsoft Word… one day I shall punch that obnoxious paperclip… oh how it mocks me…)

An explosive Numair plushy (courtesy of Tamora Pierce ;D)

A bright pink helmet

- - - - -

JUDGE: Whoever collects all their items first, wins! And you also get a helper. May I introduce to you…

DAJA: NO! YOU MAY NOT INTRODUCE US!

JUDGE: … Alphonse Elric! Huzzahray!

(I appear with Al)

ME: That's still my word… (anger mark)

JUDGE: SORRY! Sorry! Huzzah. How's that?

ME: Pfft.

(I disappear)

AL: Um… is everything alright? And what am I helping with?

JUDGE: You are helping them on their Extreme Scavenger Hunt!

AL: (opens mouth to speak)

JUDGE: I KNOW I KNOW! Lemme guess, "what's so extreme about it", right? I'M WORKING ON IT!

AL: Uh… I was just gonna say this sounds like fun…

JUDGE:…oh. You may start.

(Judge disappears)

AL: So… what's first on the list?

NEAL: Hm… two flaming broadswords. OH GREAT!

DAJA: Hurray for fire!

BRIAR: Which way do we go?

DAJA: I can feel A LOT of fire coming from over that way (points off down the beach). Maybe we should go there…

AL: (shrugs) Fine with me.

(They head off down the beach until they see a girl in the distance, juggling two broadswords which happened to be on fire)

(Just as they were nearing her, an Asian-looking guy dressed in a formal blue uniform appeared in front of the group)

DAINE: MUSTANG!

BRIAR: How do you know him?

DAINE: Uh… I don't know…

MUSTANG: (to Dove) Are you Amy, the fire element in Zadarikon?

DAINE: No… that must be her over there (points to girl juggling swords)

MUSTANG: Thank you for your kindnesses! (walks over to Amy with The Bumble Bees following)

AMY: AHH! (drops swords, which lands right next to Neal who looks stunned)

NEAL: They didn't… they didn't land on me! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I BELIEVE I CAN FLY! I DIDN'T GET HIT! WAHAHAHAHAH!

AMY: (picks swords up, staring at Neal weirdly)

MUSTANG: Are YOU Amy, the fire element from Zadarikon?

AMY: Yeah… you got a problem with that?

MUSTANG: I wish to test your abilities against mine!

AMY: FINE! You throw the first punch!

MUSTANG: If you insist! (clicks his finger and a tongue of flame shoots out at Amy)

AMY: That the best you got? (Catches flame, rolls it into a ball, and makes it huge before chucking the whole thing at Mustang)

(Mustang dives out of the way and bodyslams Neal, but the fireball follows and explodes on top of them both)

MUSTANG: (stands up and brushes himself off) I see you are a great power. I shall be wiser as of the next time we meet… and you will pay. You made me look _almost_ unattractive!

(Mustang disappears)

NEAL: AHH, POO!

DOVE: Can we have your broadswords?

AMY: NO!! (hugs swords to her chest)

BRIAR: (whispers to group) I think we need a diversion…

AL: I think I know the thing… (Stands up and looks at Amy) LOOK, AMY, BEHIND YOU! A man in a trench coat!

AMY: (exited) WHERE?!

AL: (Steals her broadswords as all of The Bumble Bees run away, whilst Amy is still looking for the guy in a trench coat…)

BRIAR: Wow… we got the broadswords! (ticks swords off list) How did you know that would work?

AL: I had a hunch…

**Team Fungus:**

NUMAIR: So, what must we search for first?

ALANNA: Uh… (checks list) The Heart of Kandrakhar. Anyone know WHAT THE HELL THAT IS?

HARRY: Ooh, I KNOW! It's a necklacy thing… on a chain… and its like a glowy pink marble!

ALY: How do you know?

HARRY: Hermione gave me some dumb book about the history behind historical, powerful artefacts or something…

TRIS: A BOOK?! Can I borrow it?!

HARRY: Uh… sure… (pulls out book and gives it to Tris)

TRIS: YAAAAAAAAAY!

KEL: O.O

NUMAIR: (to Kel) I think she is on the brink of insanity from suddenly being taken away from her friends and family…

ROGER: INSANE TRIS! WOOHOO!!

TRIS: ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT?!

ROGER: (backs away) Numair, I think you're actually right…

NUMAIR: Pfft. Of course I am.

(Will appears out of thin air with a glowy pink marble on a chain)

ALY: Ooh, is that the Heart of Kandrakhar?

WILL: Yeah! How'd you know?

ALY: I am smart. Can we have it? We need it for our –

WILL: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…

(A fair while later)

WILL: …OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

NUMAIR: I have the strangest feeling that this young lady is not going to lend us the Heart…

TRIS: OOOH Shiny………

WILL: (Sticks tongue out and disappears)

HARRY: Well, that's it! We can't take the Heart by force – it's just not possible. So, we lose.

KEL: Huh? BUT CAN'T YOU MAKE ONE WITH YOUR FREAKISH MAGIC??

HARRY: Oh yeah… (Makes Heart of Kandrakhar appear)

ALANNA: YESSAH! (ticks Heart off list)

ROGER AND TRIS: YAAAAY, SHINY!! (pokes Heart repetitively)

**The Bumble Bees:**

DAINE: So… now we're going after the Greatest Song in the World… what the hell??

AL: OOH! I know the greatest song in the world! _Cat… I'm a kitty cat! And I dance dance dance, I dance dance dance! Cat… I'm a kitty cat! And I _–

DOVE: NO!!!

AL: (cries) Don't you like my singing? (Cries harder)

DOVE: Aww, of course I like your singing! I just hate cats!

AL: (stops crying) GASP!!!!!!!!!!! (faints)

NEAL: (waves cat-scented smelling salts under Al's nose… that's if he has one…)

AL: KITTY! WHOOP! (Suddnely sits up and headbangs Neal. A/N God, that would hurt… for all those who don't watch FMA, Alphonse is a suit of armour. And on his forehead there is a large, pointy spike )

(A random CD falls from the heavens and hits Neal in the head, who was just trying to get up again)

DAJA: Hey, look at the label! It says, "The Greatest Song in the World"! Is that luck or WHAT?

AL: FINALLY! Some good luck in my life! I new good old equivalent exchange would pull through! But… I don't see how helping people I don't know in a scavenger hunt is good luck…

JUDGE: EXTREME SCAVENGER HUNT!

AL: Yeah, yeah…

**Team Fungus:**

ALANNA: Right. Now we have to look for… "The Easter Bunny". What the hell? WHO MAKES THESE CHALLENGES?!

ME: I DO! Are you insulting me? You'd better not, because I am the author and can torture you in many weird and wonderful ways…

ALANNA: Oh yeah? Like how?

ME: Putting you in a round room and… (Suspenseful pause) TELLING YOU TO SIT IN THE CORNER! BWAHAHAHAHA!

ALANNA: That's not that bad!

ME: Wanna try it out? FINE! (dumps Alanna in a round room underground) now sit in the corner! WAHAHAHAHAHA!!

ALANNA: That's easy! It's… it's… AHHH! I CAN'T DO THIS! But I must try, because I can do ANYTHING! I AM THE ALMIGHTY LIONESS!

ME: Pfft, wannabes. (transports back to group) Any other problems?

ALL: No ma'am!

ME: Good… (disappears)

NUMAIR: Uh… now what? We kinda just lost our leader…

ED: _Hello, _I'M still here! That dumb redhead woman is nothing when you have ME to guide you! WHOOP WHOOP!

TRIS: OMGOMGOMG! My mummy read me a book when I was this tall – (pinches her fingers together) and she told me, she told me if you make a snowman and sing a song you can bring it to life!

KEL: Not to burst your bubble or anything, but how's a snowman gonna help us? We're looking for the Easter Bunny, and NEWSFLASH airhead, WE'RE ON A TROPICAL ISLAND BEACH! Where are we supposed to find a snowman?

TRIS: Over there! (points to a snowman with an uncanny similarity to The Easter Bunny)

ALY: Wha – how'd that get there?

ED: (whistles)

HARRY: Who cares? Just sing that dumb song and bring it to life!

NUMAIR: Well, what's the song? Tris?

TRIS: I dunno!

NUMAIR: Well, a great help you are!

TRIS: Danke shön!

NUMAIR: When did you take up German?

TRIS: DEUTSCH! WHEE! Deutschy deutschy deutschy… ICH SPRICHEN AUF DEUTSCH! WOOT!

NUMAIR: Oh great… The insaneness…

ED: Well, why don't we try singing random songs that might help?

HARRY: LETS TRY MY SCHOOL SONG!

NUMAIR: Uh… OK… I guess it wouldn't hurt…

HARRY: YAY! _Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwar-_

(Harry is cut off by the snowman who has been brought to life! SHOCK!)

SNOWMAN: LIFE IS AS EXTREME AS YOU WANNA MAKE IT! WHOOP WHOOP! (starts surfing around on the sand using his tongue)

(Team Fungus just blink in shock at the Snowman doing doughnuts in the sand on his tongue)

TRIS: EASTER BUNNY! YAY! (hops on the Snowman's back)

ROGER: I like the new insane Tris! (jumps on Snowman's back with her)

**Sorry guys, gotta cut it here. It was taking too long. I was meant to post this but I was on a non-internet holiday (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!) and therefore couldn't. Besides that, I have no excuse. Except for the evil, cookie-loving flying bison. They're back. With balloons. (ME: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! ATTACK OF THE BALLOONS! AARGH!)**

**Did anyone know that balloons are bad luck? No one believes me, but it's true. They're bad luck.**


	10. Day 6 Part II

**_(Backs away in advance)_ Ok, I'm really sorry. Please, all those who are actually still reading this, give a big thank you to StarryFaith for reminding me that this story exists. Now, I spent the night at my friend's house last night, and she was so hyperactive she has permanently traumatized me, so if you notice a difference in my storywriting then that's probably why. She gives a new meaning to "insane".**

**Now, before you get out your giant pitchforks, I just have one thing to say to you… LOOK!! THE NUMAIR PLUSHIE! GO CHASE IT! _(Runs away while you aren't looking)_**

**Oh, and a note to StarryFaith, I've been trying to get this out since last Thursday but fanfiction chose the time that I was updating to be a poo and not let me upload the next chapter. _  
_**

**Still Day 6:**

**The Bumble Bees:**

DAJA: OK, next we gotta find a….. oh, kill me now.

NEAL: Le gasp! I didn't know you were an emo!

DAJA: The next item is a… (quiet squeak) cat…

AL: … (twitches)

DAJA: (winces)

AL: … YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!

DOVE: …?

AL: KITTY KITTY KITTY! YAYNESS!

DAINE: OK, we get the point, Al.

DAJA: Right, now what are out tactics for this one?

DAINE: I could turn into a cat for you…

AL: Oh, no need! I carry a healthy supply of cats wherever I go! (reaches inside himself and pulls out a tabby) See? (puts cat back)

BRIAR: Uh… great… (backs away)

**Team Fungus:**

HARRY: Now we have to find a… red-and-black sparkly pen. Interesting.

NUMAIR: Use this! (pulls black pen out of pocket)

ALY: Great! But… it's just plain black, not red and sparkly.

NUMAIR: Well _excuse me_ for sacrificing the device used to record my superior intellect! (throws pen on floor and storms off)

TRIS: MY HAND IS BLEEDING! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (runs around clutching hand when she trips over the pen) Oooh, shiny! (picks up pen and licks it) But… it doesn't taste shiny… (drops pen which is now stained red in places from her blood)

TEAM FUNGUS: (stares at pen) …………….EWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

NUMAIR: Honestly, the viruses that could be speeding through that pen right now… the next person to pick it up could get AIDs or herpes or something…

ALY: (raises eyebrow) Or a cold. (picks up pen and stores it in pocket)

NUMAIR: GASP! INFECTION! INFECTION!!! STAY AWAAAAAAAAAAY!!

**The Bumble Bees:**

NEAL: So now we are looking for… Uh… Santa Claus…?

BRIAR: But… Santa doesn't exist…

NEAL: Wha – what?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN DOESN"T EXIST?? Aww, thanks for crushing my childhood dream!!

BRIAR: Uh… riiiiiight… So, Santa? How are we meant to find Santa?

DAINE: Well, Santa apparently lives in the North Pole, right? So maybe we'd find something if he headed north…

DOVE: But we're on a deserted island somewhere in the Southern Hemisphere!

DAINE: How do you know we're in the Southern Hemisphere?

DOVE: (points to sky) I saw the Southern Cross last night. And besides, Fungus reckons we're on an island off the coast of Australia.

BRIAR: OK, enough of the freaky nerd talk…we'd better start off…

(After walking for around five minutes, they come across Iroh, the dude who stole the basket on day 5. He is still eating his roast duck)

NEAL: (gasps) ZOMG IT'S SANTA!!!!

IROH: (eats duck)

DOVE: That's not Santa!

DAINE: So? The judge doesn't know that.

DAJA: I guess he looks enough like Santa to pass…

BRIAR: OK, let's take him! (drags Iroh over his shoulder)

IROH: (eats duck)

**Team Fungus:**

ROGER: Next we have to search for a shard of the Shikon Jewel.

(silence)

ROGER: OK, can anyone tell me what the heck a Shikon Jewel is?

NUMAIR: It's a power-enhancing jewel that can either be complete good or complete evil. There is only one and it is extremely rare, and even if we _do_ find a shard, we'll probably have to fight an extremely powerful demon to the death…

TRIS: SOUNDS LIKE FUN!!

ALY: So what are the chances of there being this jewel on the island?

NUMAIR: (thinks quickly) 16549872316756446786467434787165787465164644546588514564237343.16786486 to 1.

HARRY: That's not as bad as it could be! Oh, look, I think I found it! (bends down and picks up a shiny shard of something)

KEL: Hey Genius, that's a broken glass bottle.

(I appear)

ME: (gasps) Naughty naughty, people are littering my torture area! (takes glass and disappears)

KEL: (sarcastically) Aww, and I thought we could get away with it too…

ALY: Hey, why don't we ask that In-a-washer dude? He's a demon, he might have one!

HARRY: I thought he left the island when he finished those hamburgers…

TRIS: O hammy burgers, how I cherish you so…

(Inuyasha falls from sky)

INUYASHA: Who said hamburgers?? Was it that shrimp? (points to Ed)

ED: … (twitches)… SHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMP?!? (goes insanely crazy on Inuyasha who holds him away with one hand on his forehead)

NUMAIR: Good sir, might you have a shard of the Shikon Jewel?

INUYASHA: (stares) Good sir? I'll give you good sir!! (Swipes at Numair)

NUMAIR FANGIRLS: (gasp and scream) ATTAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!! (destroy Inuyasha, so he's left lying on the floor, twitching and bleeding from his many scratches and scrapes reminding him to be _very_ kind to Numy…)

A NUMAIR FANGIRL: (screams in joy at Numair) I LOVE YOU!! (glomps Numair and disappears with the rest of the fangirls)

(**A/N That very lucky Numair Fangirl can be Pink Squishy Llama, if she wants to be, for her loyal reviews and awesome stories )**

NUMAIR:…that was weird…

INUYASHA: (jumps up) I don't die that easily! But… (shudders) I'll know better than to attack you this time…)

ED: OK, I'm sick of this dog boy. Inuyasha, just give us the damned shard.

INUYASHA: You've got another thing coming if you think –

ED: (transmutes arm into a sword and stabs it through Inuyasha, then grabs the jewel shard from his pocket) Thank you!

(A crowd of Inuyasha fangirls appear)

INUYASHA FANGIRLS: ATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!

(A crowd of Ed fangirls appear)

ED FANGIRLS: ATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK INUYASHA FANGIRLS!!!!

(Epic battle between Ed fangirls and Inuyasha fangirls then ensues, mainly consisting in girly slaps and jabs)

(I appear)

ME: ENOUGH! OK, sorry Inuyasha fangirls, but we all know Edo is way cooler than Inuyasha. Now go AWAY!

INUYASHA FANGIRLS: WHAT?? What are you talking about?! (huge argument)

ME: SHUT UP! OK, we've all agreed Ed is better, right? Good. Disperse!

INUYASHA FANGIRLS: (outraged outbursts)

ME: DISPERSE!!!!!!!!!

INUYASHA FANGIRLS: (disperses)

ME: (sighs) Good. (stares at Ed fangirls, who are gleefully triumphant) You too, guys…

ED FANGIRLS: Awwww…. WE LOVE YOU ED!!!!! (disperses)

ME: Well, if that wasn't weird… (disappears)

NUMAIR: Uh… what just happened…?

HARRY: Who cares, we got the jewel!

NUMAIR: (shrugs)

**The Bumble Bees:**

DAJA: Next we gotta find…uh… roast…chicken…?

BRIAR: (frustrated sigh) Dammit! All we have is a fat guy with _duck_!

IROH: (eats duck)

DAINE: You know what this means, right? (is twitchy)

NEAL: CHICKEN HUNTING!!

DAINE: (shudders)

DAJA: But it's a beach!

DOVE: There's a forest behind us…

DAINE: Aww, do we have to?

BRIAR: Yup! (pulls out gun as a chicken conveniently waddles out of the forest)

DOVE: I can't watch! (Hides in Daine's pocket)

BRIAR: (Aims gun)

(I appear)

ME: NO!!!! DON'T SHOOT!!!!

BRIAR: But then how will we get the prize?

ME: (sighs) Here. (hands a bowl of roast chicken to Briar) Just don't tell the other team that I gave it to you… and promise you won't shoot the chicken!!

BRIAR: (throws away gun) Sure! (takes chicken)

ME: Oh, and don't let Iroh get to it… (glares at Iroh who is already trying to steal it) …as a matter of fact, I'll take him now.

(I disappear with Iroh)

DOVE: What just happened?

DAINE: I don't care, just get out of my pocket! It's creeping me out…

**Yeah, a pissy chapter, (and a very short one) but I wanted to get it out so I could keep my word to StarryFaith. Thanks again! And I will try to get the next one out as soon as possible, because I'm getting braces tomorrow and probably wont want to talk for a while – plenty of time for typing! Seriously, I would have written more if I hadn't just watched the end of Conqueror of Shamballa… because now I'm all sad that it's over… :D . Anywho, I hope I get some reviews… because I don't really think people are still reading this… :S lol. Hope you all had a great Easter… and Christmas, because I think I haven't updated since before then… (sweatdrop)**


	11. Day 6 Part III

**DRAMA CLASSES MAKE EVERYONE HYPER O.O Don't you reckon? My friends and I had to make a two minute melodrama with a hero, a damsel in distress and a villain, and it had to start with someone slipping on a banana peel and end with someone ordering a raspberry slushie from 7/11. I was the hero and the shop owner and it was really random, because the villain was collecting pocket lint and… and… why the hell am I telling you this? O.o**

**Anywho, I am personally ashamed at that last chapter. I'm so sorry. Onwards!**

**Thankies for all yous who read and commented… totally didn't expect that number of wonderful peoples reviewing! I am ever grateful. AND I'M GOING TO GERMANY NEXT WEEK! BOOYAH!**

**Once again, random outbursts… and I really should get on with the story…**

**Day 6 yet again:**

**Team Fungus:**

ROGER: And thus we are a-searching a weasel on a unicycle. COFFEE!!

ALY: Coffee…?

ROGER: I is missing mine coffee… sniff

NUMAIR: A weasel on a unicycle? I do say! Weasels shouldn't have the mind capacity and coordination to ride a unicycle!

HARRY: Why not? Weasels rock!

_(Ron Weasley appears)_

RON: Are you calling me Weasel??

HARRY: No… but you rock too!

RON: _(cheesy grin)_

_(Ron disappears)_

HARRY: That was odd… wait… NO! RON!!! I'M YOUR FRIEND! TAKE ME WITH YOUUUUUUUUU!!

_(I appear)_

ME: NO ESCAPING! _(attacks Harry with fans)_

TRIS: Hitting is NAUGHTY NAUGHTY!

ME: … OK… Anywhos, I shall give you a helping tip for this one!

NUMAIR: Why?

ME: Uh… because… I love you all?

ALY: _(glares)_

ME: I helped the other team _(laughs nervously at the evil death glares I am being shot)_ OK OK, I get it! Do you want your clue or not?

TRIS: CLUESY, PLEASEY!

ME: I know a girl who trains weasels, and she –

NUMAIR: You know a girl who… trains weasels? What a stupid profession!

HARRY: WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST WEASELS?! Screw Hermione's S.P.E.W., I'm changing it to S.P.E.W.!

ME: Uhh… what did you change?

HARRY: Instead of _Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare_, I've decided to change it to _Super Peoples Engaging in Weasel-welfare_!

NUMAIR: Shouldn't that have two Ws?

HARRY: Not if I make weasel-welfare one word!

NUMAIR: _(sighs at Harry's ignorance) _If only there were some sane people here…

_(Voldemort appears)_

ME: _(mutters to self) _Oh, kill me now… _(to Voldemort)_ What are you doing here?

VOLDEMORT: I'M HERE TO CRUSH THE DREAMS OF A POOR LITTLE ORPHAN BOY!!

HARRY: Knock first.

VOLDEMORT: …Knock knock?

TRIS: WHO'S THERE??

ME: NOBODY! _(makes Vodemort disappear)_

ROGER: Aww, that's no fun!

ALY: We're not here for fun! Now, where is this weasel-trainer?

ME: About a two minute walk down the beach that way _(points southward)_. You should be fine from there on. Byes! _(walks away whistling _Affirmation _and disappears into the distance)_

_(After an hour of walking, Aly finds the weasel trainer, who is _**LadySalmalin06**_. Anywho, she is sitting at a computer, feverishly reading this chapter on fanfiction _smirks _with weasels playing chess at her feet)_

_**A/N I'm not even going to bother trying to get your personality right, Lady Salmalin. I've never even spoken to you before. Don't be offended by the personality I choose to give you You know, I'm probably gonna end up basing you on one of my friends.)**_

NUMAIR: Are you the weasel trainer?

LADYSALMALIN06: Uhuh. I am Lady Salmalin! FEAR THE AWESOME WRATH OF MY WEASELS!

NUMAIR: Lady… Salmalin? Should I feel violated?

ALY: Not in a good way…

LADY SALMALIN: I LOVE YOU NUMAIR! _(glomps Numair)_

NUMAIR: OK, I'm going to pretend that didn't just happen… _(backs away)_

LADY SALMALIN: _(Grins, proud)_ Anywho, why did you visit my weaselly hole of goodness?

NUMAIR: We need to… er…um… must I say it?! I have far too much big-headed dignity to state such foolish words!

TRIS: A monkey on a unicycle! _(spins in circles)_ WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

KEL: Actually, we're looking to borrow a weasel on a unicycle. Do you have any such thing?

LADY SALMALIN: Well, as a matter of fact, I do… follow me for a moment _(beckons to group)_

_(Lady Salmalin leads them through some bushes to a clearing where a whole horde of weasels are practicing circus acts. One cycles past on a unicycle)_

NUMAIR: You… have _got_ to be kidding me…

LADY SALMALIN: Nope! (_grins) _ I taught 'em everything they know!

KEL: Of all the ways to waste one's life…

LADY SALMALIN: (_gasps)_ HOW DARE YOU! Weasels, _ATTACK!!_

KEL: _(gets completely PWN'd by weasels) _WILL SOMEONE HELP ME?!

_(Tris cackles evilly in the background as Numair reluctantly helps Kel)_

HARRY: Anyway, Lady Salmalin, could we please borrow that weasel on a unicycle?

LADY SALMALIN: Hmm… what's in it for me?

ALY: _(thinks for a moment before grabbing Numair)_ Here! Give us the weasel on the unicycle and we'll let you borrow Numair until we're finished with it!

LADY SALMALIN: _(huge gasp)_ ZOMG!!!!!!!! _(grabs Numair and throws weasel on unicycle at Team Fungus)_ You've got yourself a deal!! Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!

ALY: (_as they walk back down the beach_) Hey, does anyone else feel like we're missing something? Like, other than Numair?

ROGER: OH NOES! EDDY'S DISAPPEARED!

TRIS: Hehehe…

ALY: _(glares)_ Tris, what did you do?

TRIS: I… uh… ate him sometime between chapters 6 pt II and 6 pt III…

HARRY: Ooh, what did he taste like?

TRIS: Possum-chicken!

ROGER: You think EVERYTHING tastes like possum-chicken! (**A/N: Cookies to whoever guesses where that quote's from!)**

**The Bumble Bees:**

DAINE: My Numy senses are tingling.

DAJA: Maybe some obsessed fangirl finally got her hands on him…

_(miles away)_

LADY SALMALIN: Hehe!

_(back to The Bumble Bees)_

DAINE: … naaah.

BRIAR: So anyway, what're we looking for now?

DOVE: Some girl called "Beka Cooper". Wow, maybe she's related to George and Aly…

AL: Oh, she is.

NEAL: …how the heck do you know?

AL: We have lovely conversations!

DAINE: and when have you ever met her??

AL: Oh, she's inside me right now! _(pulls Beka out of his armour and drops her on the ground)_

BEKA: _(tugs braid and smiles shyly) _Uh, hi!

DAINE: Wow… I thought you were dead…

BEKA: Dead?! YOU WISH! _(knocks Daine to the ground with a super cool flying, spinning kick)_ Hi-YAH!

DAINE: Uuhhngg…

DOVE: Uhh… wasn't that a little unnecessary?

BEKA: Hey, you wanna piece of me too?!

DOVE: No! No, I'm good, thanks…

BEKA: Good…

**Team Fungus:**

KEL: Alrighty. Now we'll be looking for the "Crown of Fury". Anyone heard of that?

TRIS: Your FACE is a crown of fury! Haha, get it? Because she's glaring at me?? Well, she is NOW…

KEL: …Anyway… I've never heard of it. Harry, by any chance, is the Crown of Fury in that book your friend gave you that helped us find the Heart of Kandrakhar?

HARRY: I think it might be, except Tris has it…

ALY: Oh, good. Hey, Tris, can we take a look at that book? _(holds out hand)_

TRIS: _(bites Aly's hand)_ Over MY DEAD BODY!!

ROGER: If you let us have a look, we'll give you a cookie!

TRIS: ……..what flavour?

ROGER: RAINBOW!

TRIS: _(thrusts book into Aly's arm and takes cookie that Roger coincidentally found in his pocket) _ Eeeee, rainbow cookie for meeeeeeeeee!!

ALY: Alrighty. Says here that the Crown of Fury belongs to someone called "Pariah Dark". Sounds creepy. It also says that it currently resides somewhere in the Ghost Zone, and that if united with the "Ring of Rage" you have basically unlimited powers.

HARRY: ….sweeeeeet!

TRIS: Don't go getting ideas! _(throws lightning at Harry)_

_(I appear out of nowhere)_

ME: TRIS! If you don't stop doing that, I'm going to have to replace you! Y'know, there are a lot of people who have been wanting Niko on my _Survivor_, so watch your 'tude!

_(I disappear)_

TRIS: Oh, you're no fun.

ROGER: I think she's plenty fun! She's giving us this great, free holiday, nice location, free food…

MY DISEMBODIED VOICE: Hehe, the joys of being an author. You can make anyone say whatever the hell you want.

ALY: Aaaanyway…

KEL: So how do we get to the Ghost Zone?

_(Box Ghost appears out of nowhere)_

BOX GHOST: I AM THE BOX GHOST! BEWARE!!!!

ALY: Oh, not _another _random appearance… _(facepalm)_

KEL: Wait, this might help us. He's a ghost, right? And we're looking for the _Ghost_ Zone?

ALY: Yeah, I guess you're right, but I don't really feel like being helped by this imbecile…

BOX GHOST: …_BEWARE!!_

ALY: _(raises eyebrows)_

KEL: Hey, Box Ghost? You can get to the Ghost Zone, can't you?

BOX GHOST: _(proudly puffs out chest)_ Yup! Stormrider7 gave me the ability to transport between this island and the Ghost Zone so I can annoy everyone!

ALY: _(mutters)_ Fabulous.

KEL: So you could get us the Crown of Fury, right?

BOX GHOST: I can do anything, for I AM THE BOX GHOST! _**BEWARE!!!**_

KEL: So can you help us out?

BOX GHOST: What's in it for me?

ALY: Well, it says here that the Crown of Fury is in a box… you could keep it if you want.

BOX GHOST: DONE!

_(The Box Ghost disappears)_

KEL: Right, so how long –

_(The Box Ghost appears)_

KEL: Well that was surprisingly easy. **(A/N Hehe, Avatar quote… sorry, couldn't help it XD)**

BOX GHOST: _(holds out flaming crown)_ Here, take it quickly. I've got an army of evil ghosts coming after me!!

_(Disappears)_

ROGER: Hehehe… sucker…

**Alrighty, guys. There's my newest chapter, I hope you enjoy it! Thanks for sticking with me this far, and thanks to those who sent angry reviews telling me to update – they actually helped! I think I should put a list of the people who have reviewed throughout this story, because without you, I would've deleted this story a year ago. So my most absolute gracious thanks go to – Reedhare, Cowgirl4Christ, Pink Squishy Llama, FreakishlyCool (hey, ****when did you change your penname?) Flinchrock, alynawatlovers, Freida Right, Harmony, stormgirl13, chocolateismylife, Icelands, FairCritic, Myah, amberg93, Catmedium, DreamlndxFantasy, Evil Bunny of Death, Skyla Ladona, Wanderer of Dreams, KellySquared, Sara, Firedraike08 (my most faithful reviewer for all my stories – I think - , I bow down to you…), LettuceNPudding, departedghost, LandUnderWave, Lady Potter of Tortall, music nerd, LadySalmalin06 (I hope you enjoyed this chapter especially!), pink-werewolf, Gretta99, i-love-anime-2005, Neon Genesis, Paksennarion, hexed, Kirstyn.T, serpent charmer, Dolphindreamer, anon., Lora L., Dana, SGG, Mrs. Morbid Snape, tamoranarutoholic, The Quiet Polymath (hey Lee, haven't heard from you in a while!), Misled Nymph, FloatingBubbles, Insubordinance, Moi, leni, opalshine, Skye Knightley, Danne, alianna-kyprioth, Peregrine, tentenlovertwo, seanymph, JaBoyYa, DreamAblaze, CatofCompleteChaos, nessy, Sika'sheart, Pie of Doomeh, unbelievable, on top of cloud 9, Great-almight-cheesemaster (lol Erin, I saw you today…), jeesla, StarryFaith, SOPROL, crotchebah, MorikoSakura, The Shang Kudarung, Wasabikitty10, Lady Knight Keladry. You guys have constantly made my day time and time again – you rock out loud! Cookies for all of you! (Oh, and if I've forgotten anyone, just tell me… )**

**Something has recently been brought to my attention. I've been suggested to include Twilight in it. What do you guys think?**


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